November 29th 2024.
Throughout my years in the workforce, I have come to learn a valuable lesson - that putting an 'X' at the end of a work email does not necessarily mean a job well done. It all started 19 years ago when I received an email from my boss. As I read through her message, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with nerves. She had pointed out a mistake I had made in a magazine, and while her tone was polite, there was something missing that made me panic - the 'X' at the end of the email.
In this workplace, it had become common for my female colleagues to end their emails with a kiss, whether we were organizing Friday drinks or formally signing off on editorial content. So when I noticed the absence of an 'X' in my boss's message, I was sent into a tailspin. This had been the norm since my very first day as a fledgling magazine writer at the age of 24. I remember feeling immense relief when my boss welcomed me to the team with an 'X' at the end of her email. It made me feel accepted and liked, and I assumed it meant she approved of me.
Naturally, I felt obliged to reply with an 'X' as well, to show that the feeling was mutual. And soon enough, I noticed that most of my female colleagues would also sign off their emails with an 'X'. It seemed to be an unwritten rule - if you were a woman working together and had exchanged more than one email, then that virtual kiss was a must. I have to admit, I liked it. It made me feel like I was part of the gang and that I was well-liked.
But as I moved up the ranks in my industry and worked at different publications, I made it a point to always end my emails with an 'X'. I wanted my female colleagues to like me. However, there were times when it became awkward. If there was a mistake or a serious issue, not putting an 'X' felt like a harsh reprimand, but having one seemed too casual. It also made me wonder if constantly sending kisses in work emails was unprofessional.
Now, at the age of 43 and working as a freelancer, I still notice many women ending their emails with an 'X'. And of course, I feel under pressure to reciprocate, so as not to seem rude. But it has become evident that no male colleague I have ever worked with has ever ended an email with an 'X'. If it were to happen, and we were not friends outside of work, I would feel like I was reading too much into our professional relationship and wondering if they were hinting at something more.
The truth is, no one needs that kind of awkwardness in the workplace. Over the past few months, I have been trying to draw a line between the personal and professional. I can no longer use the excuse of being a newbie in my 20s, desperate to make a good impression. What truly matters now is the quality of my work and my ability to meet deadlines, not whether I've ended my email with an 'X'.
So I've set some rules for myself. Unless the recipient of my email is a close friend or someone I have worked with for a long time and have a strong relationship with, I have stopped ending my emails with an 'X'. Even if they do, which can be tricky, I stick to keeping it strictly professional. The first time this happened, I felt conflicted. Would this person I had never met think I was being abrupt or unfriendly if I didn't send an 'X' back? But I stayed true to my decision, and it turned out she was happy with my work and even commissioned me again.
So far, I haven't noticed anyone changing their approach after seeing that I don't end my emails with an 'X'. But perhaps they don't feel as conflicted about it as I do. Most importantly, I have come to realize that the 'X' factor is not necessary for building strong professional relationships with colleagues. My work is what counts, and it is getting easier to break the habit of a career-long. There are still moments when I feel conflicted, and my old insecurities about wanting to be liked and seeking approval resurface. But I remind myself that I don't need to send an 'X' to feel confident in my abilities.
So if you find yourself stuck in this cycle, trust me, it won't matter if you end an email with a full stop instead of a kiss. Focus on your work, and let that speak for itself. After all, as the saying goes, actions speak louder than words. And in this case, that 'X' at the end of an email is just a word, not an indication of a job well done. This realization has led me to reflect on my past actions and break the habit of sending virtual kisses in work emails. And if you have a similar story, I'd love to hear it. Share your thoughts in the comments below.
[This article has been trending online recently and has been generated with AI. Your feed is customized.]
[Generative AI is experimental.]
