February 1st 2025.
Last April, the moment I had been waiting for finally arrived. My fiancé proposed to me and I was overjoyed. As we were ushered behind a curtain, my heart skipped a beat when I saw the four wedding gowns hanging on the rail. Each one was perfectly suited to my kitsch dream, with lace, sparkle, satin, and feathers galore. However, my excitement quickly turned to disappointment when I noticed one glaring mistake - all of the dresses were a size 10, but I was a size 24.
Feeling terrified that the dresses would rip apart the moment I stepped into them, I called the sales assistant back in to raise my concerns. I expected her to offer an explanation or to go and choose dresses in my size, especially since I had specifically chosen this shop because their website stated they catered to sizes up to 30. Instead, she simply grabbed some clothes pegs and clipped one of the smaller dresses to my bra straps, making me feel like a paper doll.
Trying to hide my shock and disappointment, I put on a fake smile and pretended that it was normal for me to parade around a shop, essentially naked, with my back fat on full display in front of my family. The entire appointment was one humiliating experience after another and I left feeling angry. I may be fat, but why should that stop me from having the same enjoyable wedding planning experience as everyone else?
Body image and confidence have been ongoing struggles for me since I was 12 years old. A family member once told me that I was "too fat to have friends" and ever since then, losing weight has consumed everything I did. Every social event or holiday was an opportunity for me to try and lose weight beforehand. I even avoided dating because I didn't believe anyone would want me if I was bigger.
Despite losing significant amounts of weight and reaching my "goal weight" at various points in my life, I always discovered that I still didn't feel good enough. It wasn't until I turned 32 that I realized I had spent the best part of 30 years waiting to be thin, and I didn't want to do that anymore. I started working on my body image by saying something positive about myself whenever I looked in the mirror. Though it was a difficult road, I eventually reached a point of accepting and being confident in the skin I was in.
It was this newfound confidence that led me to join a dating app in March of last year, where I met my now fiancé after 26 first dates. He instantly won both me and my dog over with his kindness and enthusiasm, and I knew he was a keeper. His daily proclamations of my favourite smile and best bum felt completely sincere. So when he proposed during our road trip around Scotland in our campervan, I was naturally thrilled for it to be my turn - a reaction that may seem normal for most, but for me, it showed just how far I had come.
Before finally accepting my body, I had always envisioned my hypothetical wedding as something I would only do when I was thin - a mindset that was influenced by my 13 years working as a wedding photographer. I had even imagined turning down a proposal if I was fat because I didn't want a ring that was sized for my fat fingers. But now, I could jump into wedding planning without hesitation, and the first thing on my agenda was finding the perfect dress.
However, shopping for clothes as a fat person is often more troubleshooting than fun, and wedding dress shopping was no exception. Though I had a romanticized view of the experience from movies and TV, the reality was far from it. Many shops that claimed to be "size inclusive" only catered to sizes up to 18, and even then, they only carried a few plus size samples. The options for plus size people were also limited, often just variations of the same three styles. Apparently, fat people don't want to follow trends, they just want to show off their cleavage while hiding everything else.
Not to mention the significant cost difference - while those under a size 18 could find decent high-street wedding dresses for as little as £200, it was nearly impossible to find something ready-to-wear in plus sizes. It's not fair. For me, the nearest bridal shop that claimed to have my size was located miles away, leaving me with no other options.
But despite all the challenges and disappointments, I eventually found my dream dress and had a moment that felt like it was straight out of a movie - champagne, a podium, and my mum crying when I put on "the one". However, the journey to finding my dress was a reminder of the lack of inclusivity in the wedding industry and the harmful beauty standards that are imposed on women. But I am grateful for my journey and for the realization that I am enough just the way I am. And now, I can't wait for my wedding day, where I will proudly walk down the aisle in a dress that fits me perfectly, regardless of what size it may be.
My heart was racing with excitement when my fiancé got down on one knee and asked me to marry him last April. As we were ushered behind a curtain, I couldn't contain my joy as I caught sight of four stunning wedding gowns hanging on a rail. Each one was perfectly suited to my kitschy dream, featuring elements like lace, sparkle, satin, and feathers. However, amidst all the excitement, there was one glaring mistake...all of the dresses set aside for me to try on were a size 10, while I was a size 24.
My initial excitement quickly turned to fear as I imagined the dresses tearing apart the moment I tried to squeeze into them. I called the sales assistant back in and expressed my concerns. I expected her to offer some explanation and bring out dresses in my size, especially since the shop's website claimed to cater up to a size 30. But instead, she simply grabbed some clothes pegs and clipped one of the smaller dresses to my bra straps, like a paper doll.
Feeling humiliated and disappointed, I tried to hide my emotions with a fake smile as I paraded around the shop, essentially naked, with my back fat on full display in front of my family. The rest of the appointment was filled with one humiliation after another, and I left feeling angry. Why should being fat stop me from having an enjoyable wedding dress shopping experience like everyone else?
From a young age, I struggled with body image and confidence, constantly trying to lose weight in a never-ending cycle. Even when I did lose weight, I still didn't feel good enough. It wasn't until I turned 32 that I realized I had wasted the best part of 30 years waiting to be thin. I didn't want to keep living that way anymore. So, I started working on my body image and confidence by saying something positive about myself every time I looked in the mirror.
It was a long and difficult road, but eventually, I started to accept and love the skin I was in. This newfound confidence even led me to join a dating app, Bumble, in March 2022. It was there that I met my now fiancé, after 26 first dates. His kindness and enthusiasm instantly won over not just me, but also my beloved dog. His daily proclamations about my smile and bum felt completely sincere, and I knew he was a keeper.
When he proposed to me on our road trip around Scotland's North Coast 500 in our campervan, I was over the moon. It was my turn to be excited about planning a wedding, something I had never imagined for myself before. In the past, I had always thought I would only get married when I was thin. But now, I was ready to jump into the wedding planning headfirst, starting with finding the perfect dress.
As a plus-size person, shopping for clothes can often be more of a hassle than a fun experience. But I still held onto a romanticized view of wedding dress shopping, hoping for the champagne, podium, and plethora of options, with my mom crying when I found "the one." However, the reality was far from it. Most boutiques that claimed to cater to plus sizes only went up to a size 18, and the options for plus size women were limited to a few variations on the same styles.
It was disheartening to see the discrepancy in costs as well. While those under a size 18 could find decent high-street wedding dresses for as little as £200, it was nearly impossible to find a ready-to-wear plus-size dress. It just wasn't fair. The closest bridal shop that claimed to have my size was miles away, and there seemed to be no other options.
In the end, I did find my dream dress, but the journey to get there was filled with disappointment and frustration. It's time for the wedding industry to be more inclusive and recognize that fat people want to follow trends and have a variety of options just like everyone else. No one should be made to feel less than because of their size.
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