We wouldn't have kids if we waited for the perfect partner.

They couldn't envision a different scenario.

October 6th 2024.

We wouldn't have kids if we waited for the perfect partner.
From left to right, we see three strong and inspiring women - Emma, Clare, and Sarah - with their adorable little ones, Xander, Albert, and Astrid, and Oliver. These women have taken on the role of solo motherhood with grace and determination, and their love for their children is evident in the way they look at them.

Emma's journey to becoming a solo mum began nine years ago when she sat across from a friend who was struggling with the idea of never having a child, simply because she hadn't found "Mr Right." As an NHS worker, Emma realized that there must be many women facing the same dilemma. At 27, after coming out of a long-term relationship and being unable to find a serious partner, Emma knew that she could soon be in the same boat as her friend.

Hearing her friend's story was like a wake-up call for Emma. She had always dreamed of being a mother and couldn't imagine her life without a child. It was a feeling that had been with her since her teenage years. But with the clock ticking and no partner in sight, Emma started to worry and question herself. It was then that she made the decision that if she didn't find someone by the time she turned 40, she would become a solo mum.

And that's exactly what she did. In March 2022, Emma went to a fertility clinic in Leeds and underwent IVF with donor sperm from Denmark. Now, at 43, she is the proud mother of a year and nine-month-old Xander, who has a love for dinosaurs.

When asked why she chose to become a solo mum, Emma explains that after her breakup, she went traveling and had a new lease on life. But the desire to be a mother was always there, and she couldn't fight it. She would go on dates and find herself wondering what kind of father her partner would be, which made her feel desperate to find a partner so she could become a mother.

After making the decision to do it alone, Emma spent roughly £9,000 on consultations, tests, medication, and IVF. She even underwent counseling to help her come to terms with using donor sperm. Despite the low 17% chance of success, Emma became pregnant on her first round of IVF. She had her best friend Chloe by her side as her birthing partner and support system throughout her pregnancy.

Emma admits that she was nervous about taking the pregnancy test, but when she saw that second line, she was overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. She says that being a solo mum has its challenges, but she has been fortunate to have a great support system.

Sarah Glover, a 58-year-old solo mum, shares a similar story. She has faced judgment and negativity from some people throughout her journey, but she says that being a solo mum has been an "unbelievable" and amazing experience. She explains that some people close to her have questioned her decision and made hurtful comments, but her mum and friends have been incredibly supportive.

Sarah, who gave birth to her son Oliver in March 2023, says that she has received comments like "you're too old" and "you'll be 76 when he's 20." But she has thought about all of these things and believes that age shouldn't determine someone's ability to be a good parent.

Both Emma and Sarah are part of a growing community of single women who have chosen to become solo mums. In the past year, 3,548 women underwent IVF alone in the UK, an 82% increase since 2019. These women call themselves Solo Mums by Choice, and they have a dedicated Facebook group with over 4,000 members.

Emma and Sarah's stories are proof that being a solo mum is not an easy journey, but it is a beautiful and fulfilling one. They have both found strength, love, and support in their journey, and they wouldn't have it any other way. As Emma says, "Being a solo mum to me has been that dream, that long-awaited dream, of being a mother."
In a group photo, three solo mothers, Emma, Clare, and Sarah, pose with their children, Xander, Albert, Astrid, and Oliver, from left to right. They each have their own unique story of how they became solo mothers and share the joys and challenges of raising their children alone.

Nine years ago, Emma Halliday had a conversation with a friend who was 45 years old and struggling to come to terms with not being able to have a child because she had not found the right partner. This struck a chord with Emma, who was also single at the time and worried that she may face the same situation in the future. "Hearing that was like a slap in the face - I knew that could be me," Emma recalls. She had always dreamed of becoming a mother and felt hopeless, questioning what was wrong with her for not being able to find a serious partner. In that moment, Emma made a decision that if she reached the age of 40 and was still not in a relationship, she would become a solo mother by choice.

Emma's son Xander, who is now a year and nine months old and loves dinosaurs, is proof that her decision was the right one for her. After her long-term relationship ended when she was 27, Emma spent around £9,000 on consultations, tests, medications, and IVF treatment. She also underwent counselling to cope with the emotional aspect of using donor sperm. Despite the low success rate of 17%, Emma became pregnant after the first embryo was implanted. Her best friend Chloe supported her through the pregnancy and was with her during prenatal appointments, and Emma's son was born in November 2022.

When asked why she chose to become a solo mum, Emma explains that even after her breakup, she had a strong desire to be a mother. She tried to ignore this feeling and tell herself that if it happens, it happens, but deep down, she knew she wanted to have a child. She also found that while dating, she was constantly wondering about the potential partners' fatherhood skills, which added pressure to find a partner. Emma is grateful for the support she received during her pregnancy and after Xander's birth, and she believes that being a solo mum has its own unique challenges, but it also has its advantages.

Emma is not alone in her journey as a solo mum. In fact, there has been an 82% increase in the number of single women undergoing IVF alone in the past year, with 3,548 women choosing to become solo mums by choice. This has led to the formation of a supportive community, with a dedicated UK Facebook group for these women. One of the members, Sarah Glover, became a solo mum at the age of 58 and has faced judgement and negativity from some people, but she explains that the experience has been "unbelievable" and amazing. She has received support from her mother and friends, but some of her family members have not reacted the way she had hoped.

Sarah's son Oliver was born in March 2023, and she has had to deal with comments about her age and the fact that she will be older when her son reaches milestones. However, she believes that she has thought about these factors and that they do not diminish the joy and fulfillment she feels as a solo mother. "Being a solo mum to me has been that dream, that long-awaited dream, of being a mother," Emma says. She feels fortunate to have experienced this journey with her son and is grateful for the support she has received from her loved ones and the solo mum community.

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