September 20th 2023.
You meet a cute guy in a club, take his number, and decide to take things to the next level. But then you find out he has a girlfriend. Now you're faced with the decision of whether or not to tell her.
The pros of telling her are that you’re allowing her to make an informed decision about her relationship. She may be hurt in the short-term, but at least she hasn’t wasted five years not knowing the truth.
The cons of telling her are that you’re opening yourself up to an emotional response from her and her partner. You may have to deal with her strong reactions, hostility and dismissal. Also, the guy may lie and deny the situation, making it difficult for you to move on.
If you decide not to tell her, it’s totally valid - but you should talk to trusted friends for support and don’t be too hard on yourself. Reflect on what you want from your romantic encounters and the importance of honesty in relationships.
If you do decide to tell her, approach it compassionately and kindly, without going into too much detail. Tell the truth, ask what she wants to know, and be kind. And don’t forget to let go of the guilt. You didn’t know, so it’s not your burden to carry.
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[Generative AI is experimental.]
