My mom is micromanaging my wedding planning.

Dear Valerie,

Congratulations on your engagement! I can only imagine how happy you must feel. However, I understand that there is one thing that has been causing you stress - your mum's overbearing behavior. It's natural for parents to be excited and want to be involved in their child's wedding, but it sounds like your mum is taking it to the extreme.

I can see why you feel overwhelmed. Your mum's need to be included in everything can be exhausting and it's understandable that you want to make some decisions on your own without her input. It's great that you have accepted her quirks, but when it comes to your wedding, you want it to be about you and your partner's vision, not your mum's.

It's important to find a balance between including your mum and setting boundaries. You don't want to completely shut her out, but you also don't want her to take over and make all the decisions. Instead, try redirecting her energy towards tasks that you wouldn't mind her help with, such as making wedding favors or arranging the table centerpieces. This way, she can still feel involved but you can maintain control over the important decisions.

I suggest having an open and honest conversation with your fiancé about this issue. While he may be laid-back, it's important for him to support you and reinforce boundaries when necessary. It could be as simple as reminding your mum that this is your wedding and you and your partner will make the final decisions together.

When it comes to choosing the wedding cake, for example, you can explain to your mum that this is a special moment you want to share with your fiancé. Instead of letting her invite herself along, express how much you are looking forward to choosing the cake together as a couple. Reassure her that you value her opinion, but ultimately, you and your partner will make the final decision.

Remember, you're not trying to control your mum, you're just setting boundaries to ensure that your wedding remains about you and your partner. It's completely understandable to want to make your own decisions and have your wedding reflect your vision. Don't be afraid to push back when needed, your mum will adapt and ultimately want what's best for you on your special day.

I wish you a beautiful and stress-free engagement, and a wedding that truly reflects you and your partner. And if you ever need more advice, please don't hesitate to reach out.

Best wishes,
Alison

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