July 7th 2024.
I have a vivid memory from my childhood of my mother giving my friends and I a lesson about our bodies. We were all gathered around the kitchen table, and one of my friends, Amelia, was sharing a juicy story about catching a classmate touching themselves in the bathroom. My friends were horrified and began making disgusted comments, but my mother, who had been gracefully washing dishes at the sink, turned to us with a disapproving look on her face.
In a calm and matter-of-fact tone, she explained to us that masturbation is a natural and enjoyable act when done in private. This caused quite a stir among my friends, who were not used to hearing such open and honest discussions about sex. I was often asked what it was like to have a sex therapist as a mother, and for a while, I avoided talking about her profession altogether.
Growing up, I was very aware of what my mother did for a living. She is a renowned clinical psychologist and sexologist, and her recent book, Sex in the Brain: A Neuropsychosexual Approach to Love and Intimacy, is known for its graphic and explicit content. I remember when I was nine years old, a friend of mine stumbled upon a copy of The Joy of Sex in our study, sandwiched between some innocent children's books. My friend made jokes about my parents using the book, and I was embarrassed and ashamed.
As a teenager and young adult, I was determined to pursue a more conventional career path, working in journalism and the charity sector. But deep down, I always had a fascination with my mother's work. So when a friend approached me about developing a sex toy with him while I was on maternity leave, I didn't hesitate to say yes. My mother, however, had her reservations, reminding me of the potential challenges of having a career that revolves around sex.
But I was proud of what my friend and I were creating, and I didn't shy away from sharing it with my family. My mother's openness and lack of shame around anything related to sex had a significant impact on my own views and attitudes towards it. By the time I was a teenager, I knew more about sex and pleasure than most of my friends, and I credit my mother for that.
Now, as a parent and co-owner of a sex toy brand, I am grateful for my mother's influence and guidance in destigmatizing sex and promoting sexual wellness. I try to pass on her teachings to my own children, creating a safe and open environment for them to learn and ask questions about their bodies and sexuality.
My mother's work has also had a significant impact on my own career choices. I left the charity sector to help build our sex toy brand, and I have no regrets. I am passionate about destigmatizing sex and educating young people, especially in a world where porn is more accessible than accurate sexual health information.
Despite my mother's openness and comfort with discussing sex, she still manages to make me cringe with her sometimes awkward and intimate questions. But I have learned to appreciate her curiosity and willingness to have uncomfortable conversations. I am grateful for her unwavering support and guidance, and I know that I would not be where I am today without her.
So, when I recently ordered a copy of The Joy of Sex for myself and proudly displayed it on the shelves in my home, I couldn't help but think back to my childhood embarrassment and how far I have come. And as I continue to work towards destigmatizing sex and promoting sexual wellness, I am grateful to have my mother by my side, always ready to offer her expertise and support.
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