July 7th 2024.
As I walked up to the school playground one spring afternoon, I was met with a disheartening sight. Parents, heads down and fingers scrolling, completely engrossed in their phones. It made me stop and think about my own phone habits. Would I be doing the same if I hadn't left my phone at home in my rush to pick up my kids, Ella and Leo? Seeing children excitedly running to their parents, only to be met with a distracted head or a request to wait a minute, made me realize that I didn't want that for my own kids.
I had to admit, initially, I felt a bit lost without my phone. It had become such a constant presence in my daily life that I couldn't imagine being without it. I even caught myself reaching for it to check my symptoms, and I couldn't help but wonder if I was developing nomophobia. But as I observed the parents glued to their screens, I couldn't ignore the message it was sending to their children. It was then that I fully understood the importance of the head teacher's request for a phone ban at school pick-up.
When I arrived back home with my kids, I was tempted to immediately check my phone for any missed calls or urgent emails. However, when I finally did pick it up, I was met with nothing important. It made me realize that my phone often took priority over my kids, and it was something I wanted to change. As a parenting specialist, I knew the importance of being a good role model for my children. So, I made the decision to impose a phone ban during the school run and for the first 45 minutes after we got home.
At first, it was difficult to break the habit of constantly checking my phone. But as time went on, I found myself feeling more connected to my kids when I disconnected from the online world. It also gave me a much-needed break and allowed me to fully focus on my children. I also noticed that they were less likely to interrupt me when I was working, as they were more content and engaged after spending quality time with me.
It's not always easy, and there are still days when I have my phone on me and struggle to resist the urge to check it. But on those days, I make a conscious effort to engage with other parents or simply enjoy some quiet moments to myself. I've also learned the importance of not interrogating my kids about their day as soon as they come home. Giving them some time to decompress before chatting about their day has made our interactions more positive and enjoyable.
As we hear more and more about children's phone addictions, I believe it's important for parents to take responsibility for their own phone use and set a good example for their children. By putting our phones away during school pick-up, we show our kids that we don't need our phones to pacify ourselves and that being sociable is important. It's a small change that can have a huge impact, and it's something that can start at the school gates.
I've also found that taking some time away from my phone has allowed me to rediscover my love for reading. And before we even consider giving our children their own phones, we need to consider how our own phone use may influence theirs. By setting strict rules and boundaries for ourselves, we can make it easier to do the same for our children.
In the end, it's all about small changes and finding a healthy balance between our phone use and our relationships with our children. And for me, that starts with putting my phone away during school pick-up and being fully present with my kids. Not only does it benefit them, but it also benefits me by giving me time to decompress and properly connect with my children. So, let's all take a moment to pause from our phones and enjoy the world around us. Our kids will thank us for it.
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