September 25th 2023.
I came out this June as a professional male dominant, introducing the world to my dominant alter-ego, ‘Mister Saul’. My journey to becoming a professional dominant had a surprising beginning. From my earliest years, I was a good Christian girl, attending bible studies, youth groups, and even leading church services and preaching in my twenties. But beneath these efforts lay deeply repressed parts of my identity.
By the age of 25 in 2016, the first thing that had risen to the surface was my sexuality – I wasn’t straight, I was bi. Shortly after, I accepted that I wasn’t a woman either, but a trans man. Naturally, these coming out moments were accompanied by much deconstruction and reflection on the oppressive, shame-filled beliefs I’d imbibed as an evangelical Christian.
One of the things my body was drawing me to was BDSM, which I began to explore in the years since coming out with partners, lovers, and friends. Even as a good evangelical girl, I’d always fantasised and thought about kink. Now I was simply giving myself permission to explore it. Contrary to the claim by anti-kink people that BDSM is merely a trojan horse for sexual violence, I discovered within it moments of healing and catharsis – both as a submissive and dominant.
With the encouragement of my kink-positive therapist, I decided to take the leap from being a dominant in my private life, to being a professional one. I ended up talking to a couple of established pros for advice on how to get started, how to advertise, pricing and more. In terms of equipment, I’d curated a decent tool-kit from domming people over the years, but most dungeon spaces available to hire also come with plenty of toys.
The critical thing to think through before going pro was safety. I had to make sure I had the experience and skillset to provide a robust scene negotiation process and consent framework for clients. With the practical stuff addressed, the rest fell into place. Being a dominant involves technical skills and knowledge, but it’s also about being able to create an intense and unforgettable experience.
My very first paid-for BDSM scene was a collaboration with a well-established professional dominant. After several hours of heavy impact play, I remember heading home exhausted, but content – and not just because I’d been given a wad of cash for my work. I’ve grown immeasurably as a dominant since then.
Publicly embracing my sexuality as a trans person is often fraught with complexity. On the one hand, our bodies are oversexualised or fetishised as the ‘best of both’. On the other, they’re routinely dehumanised, scrutinised, and subject to violence of every sort. For me, the concept of ‘trans joy’ often celebrates transness in a very desexualised way. But domming two submissives at once and bringing them to orgasm simultaneously is my trans joy, or better yet – trans hedonism.
Trans people deserve the freedom to explore and express their sexuality within a consensual framework like any cisgender adult. Which is why, while I take on clients of all sexualities and genders, I think it’s important to be a publicly trans dominant. Naturally, for trans clients, I seek to provide a gender-euphoric experience, and for cis clients, a chance to expand their horizons.
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