May 4th 2024.
Mandy's children have always been responsible and independent when it comes to their own rooms. As a parent, she wanted to give them their own space to come home to after a long day at school. This week on How I Parent, we have wedding writer Mandy Dineley, who shares her experience of raising her three children, Elliot, Lilianne, and George, in a big family with limited privacy.
Growing up, Mandy had five siblings and shared a room with her older sisters. She remembers how they didn't want an 11-year-old in their conversations and how she wasn't pleased when they came home from parties and woke her up the next day. Despite having a happy childhood, she always felt like she needed more privacy, especially when her sister had a baby and they had to share their space with the little one. When she became a mother, Mandy was determined to give her children their own rooms.
Mandy started implementing her self-imposed rules when Elliot was 14, Lilianne was 11, and George was seven. She wanted her children to learn to take care of themselves and their own space. She says, "I thought that if I did everything for them, they would never learn to appreciate their own space or take pride in it." Her children quickly caught on, with Lilianne taking the lead in looking after her own room.
Mandy trusted her children and never went into their rooms without their permission. She wanted them to have a sense of maturity and privacy in their own space. She says, "I loved the idea that they could come home from school and shut out the world if they wanted to." Her children knew they could always come to her and talk about any problems they were facing, but she never barged into their rooms without their consent.
As her children grew older, Mandy's decision to give them privacy and responsibility from a young age proved to be beneficial. They have now become fantastic young adults who are respectful and sensible. Mandy believes that their sense of maturity and independence can be attributed to the trust and privacy she gave them. She says, "They always knew they could come to me with any problems, and we were never shutting them out."
While this parenting style has worked for Mandy and her family, she has received mixed reactions from other parents. Some feel uncomfortable with the idea of not going into their children's rooms, while others can't imagine dealing with the mess. However, Mandy's children were responsible for their own rooms, including changing their own sheets and doing their own laundry. This helped them develop a sense of respect for each other's space and privacy.
As her children are now getting ready to leave home, Mandy is proud of the responsible and independent adults they have become. She believes that her decision to give them privacy and responsibility has prepared them for life outside of their childhood home. Mandy says, "Even with the advancements in technology, I would still do the same. Children don't need to be in their bedrooms to do secretive things these days, they can do it on their phones in front of you." Giving her children their own space has not only taught them responsibility but has also strengthened their relationship with their parents.
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