I'm considering leaving my partner due to a two year sex drought.

Chris & I no longer kiss goodbye; can't recall when we stopped.

October 27th 2023.

I'm considering leaving my partner due to a two year sex drought.
Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger. This week, we hear from Hannah*, a mother of three in her late 40s. Hannah is straight and has been in a long-term relationship with her partner, Chris*.

Hannah and Chris used to have a passionate and active sex life, with several encounters a week in the early stages of their relationship. However, once Hannah became pregnant it changed. Chris was afraid that having sex would harm the baby, and their intimacy dwindled to a few times a month. Communication issues were at the heart of the problem, and the situation never recovered after the children were born.

Now, with the kids older, Hannah feels like her relationship is effectively over. Despite this, she can't bring herself to end it due to the impact it would have on the family.

Monday
At the dinner table, Hannah's 12-year-old daughter commented on her teacher teaching them about consent. Hannah was about to ask her daughter if she thought that people over 60 don't have sex, but quickly decided against it. She wasn't ready to answer questions about her own sex life, or explain why she and Chris hadn't been intimate in two years.

Tuesday
Working from home enables Hannah to fit her job around the kids, but it also means she misses out on the social interaction with her peers. To break up her day, Hannah sometimes indulges in a quick solo session, but today she was too preoccupied to enjoy it.

After dinner, Hannah and Chris settle down in front of Netflix with their oldest son, leaving no room for the couple to connect. By the time Hannah goes to bed, her partner is already asleep and, as usual, they don't have sex.

Wednesday
It's another day of stressful school runs, interrupted only by flashes of memory of her ex-boyfriend, Ed*. They had passionate conversations in the early hours of the morning and never married, as Ed wanted to travel and sow his wild oats.

Hannah eventually met Chris, and although they shared some interests, she realised too late that he wasn't her soul mate. They had children and, for a while, the kids eclipsed the cracks in their relationship. But now that the kids are older, those cracks are widening and Hannah is beginning to miss Ed's conversations in the dark, as well as the sex.

Thursday
Time is precious for Hannah, so a solo session is limited to seven minutes. Despite this, she finds some respite in the best way she can. While Hannah is in a difficult situation, she still has hope that things can get better.
Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger. This week, we hear from Hannah*, a mother of three in her late 40s who is straight and has a long-term partner, Chris*.

Hannah and Chris's sex life has dwindled since starting a family, and they haven't had sex for around two years. In the early stages of their relationship, they'd be 'at it several times a week', but this changed once she got pregnant. Chris was worried that having sex during pregnancy would do something to the baby, so they only had sex once or twice a month.

Hannah adds that their 'sex life never recovered' after having their children, and she feels lonely. Despite the fact that the kids are older, they still don't make time for sex. She feels like their relationship is effectively over, but due to the kids and money playing a part, she doesn't know how to end it.

Monday starts off with an awkward dinner table conversation. At school, her 12-year-old daughter had been learning about consent, which she found 'really weird'. Hannah was about to ask if she thought 60-year-olds didn't or shouldn't have sex, but decided against it. She wasn't ready to answer the questions about her own sex life.

Tuesday is a day full of work and the usual circus of school runs. She sometimes breaks up the day with a solo session, but today the mood didn't take her. After dinner, her 16-year-old son and Chris settle on the sofa in front of Netflix, while she puts the younger two to bed. By the time she goes to bed, Chris is already asleep, and as usual, they don't have sex.

Wednesday is stressful, and there's no time for a solo session. She remembers when she was with Ed.* before meeting Chris. He was her soul mate, but they never got married. She had a few flings until her hormones intervened and she met Chris. He could be fun and adventurous, and they shared a few interests, but she felt there was little beneath the surface. She bought a house with him and had babies, but now that they're growing up, the cracks in their relationship are widening.

Thursday passes in a blur, and before collecting the kids from school, Hannah gets out her vibrator and spends some time on herself. Despite only having seven minutes, she can take solace in the fact that she still has her own desires.

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