October 4th 2023.
We're not sure if there is a way around this, but let's explore. Em Clarkson is here to help with all your problems, or at least be a sympathetic ear. As Metro's agony aunt, this influencer, author, and content creator is ready to assist in any quandary.
This week, she's helping Metro readers navigate 'toxic' mothers-in-law, a cheating parent, and the classic issue of making friends as an adult. Read on to find out what Em has to say about these predicaments.
I don't want my mother-in-law at our upcoming wedding, she's toxic and will ruin our day!
I understand why this isn't a desirable situation. It's hard when your partner's mother is someone you don't get along with. But I would remind you that it is also your partner's day, and if you say no to their mother, you're also saying no to them.
That said, you don't have to give her the power to ruin your day. You can adjust your expectations and focus on the fact that you are the most important people in the room. While your mother-in-law might do something to upset you, it is ultimately up to you to decide how it affects you.
My dad is cheating on my mum, and she is fighting to win him back. How can she build self-confidence?
It's understandable that you want to help your mum through this difficult time, but it's important to keep in mind that this is not your responsibility. Your parents are adults, and while you can offer your support, you can't ultimately change the trajectory of their relationship.
That said, it sounds like your mum is struggling with her self-confidence, so I think it would be beneficial for her to get out there and do things for herself. Whether it's a trip away, evening classes, or a new challenge, it's important to remind her that she doesn't need a man to validate her.
I don't have a best friend, and it feels like everyone else does. I'm wildly triggered by it. What advice do you have?
Making friends as an adult is hard, and having that "Thelma and Louise" sort of best friend is rare. It's understandable that you feel triggered by this, and if it's something you really can't shake, I think it might be worth exploring in therapy.
Remind yourself that you haven't yet met all the people who are going to love you. Hollywood's depiction of best friendships is skewed, and you can still make great friends even if you didn't know them in school.
Finally, remember that for many people, their best friend isn't always their closest confidant. It could be their husband, their dog, or their mum. Maybe they don't see each other often, or maybe, like you, they just haven't met them yet.
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