Do I want vegan food at my wedding or my mom's traditional dishes?

The problem isn't always the absence of meat, but rather a lack of exposure to vegan food.

June 16th 2024.

Do I want vegan food at my wedding or my mom's traditional dishes?
Hello there, it's great to meet you! My name is Alison Rios McCrone and I am a wedding planner and venue owner. I have been in this business for over 10 years and I absolutely love helping couples plan their special day. That's why I am here to offer my advice and help solve your wedding dilemmas in my weekly agony aunt column. So, let's dive into this week's issue.

Natalia, a lovely bride-to-be, wrote to me about her dilemma. She and her fiancé have been vegan for six years now and it is a lifestyle that they are truly passionate about. It's no surprise that they want to reflect this in their wedding and have a fully plant-based menu. However, Natalia's mother is not on board with the idea and wants to have meat options at the wedding. This has put Natalia in a difficult position as her mother is also contributing a significant amount of money towards the wedding. She doesn't want to upset her mother or risk her not attending the wedding. So, what should she do?

Firstly, let me start by saying that weddings can be incredibly stressful. Whether you're the bride, groom, family member, or friend, there's a lot of pressure to make everything perfect. Natalia, it's wonderful that you and your fiancé are committed to hosting a wedding that aligns with your values and beliefs. However, when family dynamics and financial contributions come into play, things can get a little complicated. So, here are a few things to consider.

It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your mother. Express to her how much it means to you to have a fully vegan wedding and why it is so important for you to share your values with your guests on this special day. Let her know that her presence and support mean the world to you and that you hope she can respect your decision. Listen to her concerns and try to find a compromise that can honor your vegan values while also addressing her worries. Perhaps you could offer a variety of delicious and satisfying vegan dishes that even non-vegans would enjoy. Sometimes, people are hesitant to try vegan food because they are not familiar with it. So, it's important to emphasize the flavors and textures that make vegan food so delightful.

I also recommend working closely with your caterer to create a menu that is both filling and flavorful. They may have some great suggestions for protein-rich options and ingredients that can mimic the taste of non-vegan food. You could also highlight the health benefits and environmental impact of a plant-based diet to your mother. And, if she's still not convinced, why not take her to a restaurant that specializes in vegan cuisine or arrange a tasting session with your caterer? Trust me, vegan food can be just as delicious and satisfying as non-vegan food.

Now, I understand that some of your guests may not be too happy with a fully vegan menu. I've had weddings in the past where meat-eaters were not impressed with the lack of meat options. But, it's important to remember that just as you respect their decision to eat meat, they should respect your decision for your wedding. After all, if you were to attend a non-vegan wedding, you wouldn't expect to be served vegan options. So, it's about mutual respect and understanding.

If your mother's monetary contribution is conditional on having a non-vegan option, you may need to reassess your budget and explore other funding options. And, if she's still not on board, you could consider having vegan canapés and making some parts of the wedding meal vegan. Ultimately, what's most important is that your wedding reflects who you are as a couple and what you believe in. It's about celebrating your love and commitment to each other with the people who support and cherish you.

I hope this helps, Natalia. Remember, your wedding day is about creating beautiful memories and celebrating with your loved ones. I wish you all the best and please keep me updated on how things go. And to all my readers, if you have a wedding problem and need some advice, don't hesitate to email me. I'm here to help.

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