July 3rd 2024.
The dating scene can be challenging, especially when politics comes into play. For Conservative councillor Tom Jones, this is a familiar and frustrating experience. Despite his political beliefs, Tom just wants someone who will treat him kindly, even if they don't agree with him. But unfortunately, his political stance has caused issues in his dating life, with some potential partners rejecting him once they discover his affiliation.
Tom, who represents North Yorkshire's Scotton and Lower Wensleydale ward, shares that his political identity has greatly impacted his love life. It has even led him to include his political views on his dating profiles, something that doesn't feel authentic to him. As he reflects on his experiences, Tom jokes that maybe he shouldn't have chosen to be a Tory if he wanted to attract more potential dates.
One particular instance that stands out to Tom is when he went on a date with a BBC journalist. Despite having a great first date and making plans to see each other again, the journalist ultimately ended things because of Tom's political views. Tom laughs that perhaps there is some truth to the idea of BBC bias, at least in his case. But for Tom, finding someone who respects and values him as a person is more important than sharing the same political beliefs.
Tom has faced challenges in dating because of his political identity, with some women losing interest once they discover he is a Conservative. However, Tom believes that a partner's political affiliation should not be a deciding factor in a relationship. He shares that for him, it is more important to find someone who values and cares for him, regardless of their political views. Tom also notes that many of his political colleagues tend to only date within their political circle, but he thinks this is a mistake. He believes it is refreshing to have a partner who can offer a different perspective and help him take a break from politics.
When it comes to discussing politics with his partners, Tom has found that framing things from a different perspective can be helpful in diffusing any tension. He has also noticed a growing values divide between men and women when it comes to politics. But Tom believes that by explaining issues and appealing to different priorities, he has been able to sway some of his partners to his way of thinking.
Recent research from Tinder and Bumble has shown that politics plays a significant role in the dating world. A third of young UK singles believe that their partner should be registered to vote, and many have ended relationships or would do so if their partner was not politically engaged. Additionally, more and more people are valuing engagement with social and political issues, with 1 in 4 Bumble users reporting that it is a fundamental factor in a potential partner. And for women, it is essential that their partner respects their political opinions.
Despite not being affiliated with any political party, Hinge allows users to indicate their political leanings, with options ranging from apolitical to left and right. This feature can help users avoid potential red flags and find someone who shares their political beliefs. And according to new figures, voting is becoming increasingly attractive, with many young adults saying they would be less likely to date someone who doesn't vote.
So when Tom met his current girlfriend on Hinge, they were able to connect despite their differing political views. For them, what matters most is their mutual respect and care for each other, regardless of their political identity. And perhaps that is the key to navigating the tricky world of dating and politics – finding someone who values and supports you as a person, rather than just your political beliefs.
Navigating the dating world can be tough, especially when the topic of politics arises. For Tom Jones, a Conservative politician in North Yorkshire, this struggle hits close to home. He has experienced the infamous "never kissed a Tory" rhetoric and has even been rejected by potential dates once they discovered his political stance.
"It has definitely affected my dating life," Tom, 30, shares with The Agency. "It can be disappointing, and I've even had to include my political views on my dating profiles, which doesn't feel like the real me."
As a result, Tom has jokingly questioned whether he should have chosen a different career path. "If I used my politics as a dating strategy, I'd have to suddenly become 'woke'," he quips.
One particular instance that still stings for Tom is when he went on a date with a BBC journalist. "Our first date was amazing," he recalls. "We even texted each other the next day and planned to see each other again. But as things were getting serious, she suddenly told me that she couldn't continue seeing me because of her job."
Tom couldn't help but make a joke about BBC bias, but for him, finding someone who respects him is more important than sharing the same political beliefs. Sadly, he has encountered women who have lost interest in him upon discovering he is a Conservative.
"A partner's political affiliation has never been a dealbreaker for me," he explains. "For me, it's about finding someone who values me and is kind and caring. I'm a simple man with simple tastes."
While some of his political friends only date people within their own political circle, Tom believes this is a mistake. "You end up talking about work all the time and it can become overwhelming," he says. "I wouldn't expect my girlfriend to be interested in my political work. It's nice to have someone who can take me away from it all."
Tom also notes that political disagreements have never been a major issue in his relationships because by the time he starts dating someone, they have already accepted him for who he is. However, when disagreements do arise, Tom leans on his "romantic radicalisation" technique, where he presents issues from a different perspective to diffuse any tension.
"I've dated mostly liberal women, which speaks to the growing divide between men and women's values," he shares. "But as I explain my views, they often come around to my way of thinking. It just takes some work to frame things in a way that appeals to different priorities."
According to recent research from Tinder, many young singles in the UK consider political engagement an important aspect of dating. In fact, a third of young singles feel that their potential partner should be registered to vote, and 60% believe that their partner should respect their political opinions. Similarly, Bumble has seen a rise in "val-core dating," where users prioritize finding someone who is passionate about social and political causes. This has led to the creation of badges on the app, allowing users to indicate their political leanings and potentially avoid any red flags.
Despite not being affiliated with any political parties, Tom and his current girlfriend, who he met on Hinge earlier this year, have found a way to make their differing political views work. "It's not a problem for us," Tom shares. "We respect each other's opinions and are able to have healthy discussions about politics without it affecting our relationship."
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