February 13th 2024.
Bryony Farmer, along with her son Oryn, is the subject of the week-long series Solo by The Agency, which explores the experiences of single women in 2024. At 26 years old, Bryony recounts her childhood and how she was always fascinated by babies, playing with all the dolls and having a strong maternal instinct. It was clear to her that she would one day become a mother, even after realizing at the age of 20 that she identifies as asexual. Discovering this part of her identity felt like finding a missing piece of herself and over the years, she has become more confident and open about it.
Looking back, Bryony remembers moments during her school years when she didn't understand her friends' fascination with crushes or their comments about "cute boys" in magazines. Initially, she questioned if she was gay but then realized she was not attracted to women either. She wondered if she was just a late bloomer, considering she got her period late. However, at the age of 15, she was diagnosed with Lyme's disease and was unable to think about dating due to her health. It wasn't until she was 19 that she decided to dip her toes into the dating scene, hoping that getting to know someone would lead to sexual attraction. However, a pivotal moment on a fifth date where she felt pressured to say yes to a kiss made her realize that something was not right.
After hearing the term "ACE" on a YouTube video, Bryony finally understood her identity as asexual and felt relieved to know there were others like her. She always knew she wanted to have children, so she never doubted that it would happen, but rather wondered how. Her first step towards motherhood was through volunteering, hosting refugees in her spare room. This experience was so rewarding that she decided to become a foster carer at the age of 21 and fostered nine children. Around the same time, she was diagnosed with Adenomyosis, a condition that affects fertility, and was advised to try for children sooner rather than later.
At 24, Bryony underwent fertility treatment with a sperm donor and was successful on her second round of IUI. However, the positive pregnancy test did not give her the "Disney feeling" she was expecting, as she was aware of the risks due to her condition. She describes the pressure she felt from the "social media-fication" of pregnancy announcements, where people share emotional and dramatic videos. Nevertheless, Bryony was overjoyed to welcome her son, Oryn, into the world.
Being a single mother by choice is becoming increasingly common, and Bryony is proud to be a part of this growing trend. She hopes that by sharing her story, she can inspire and empower other women to make their own choices and not feel limited by societal expectations. Bryony is grateful for her son and the journey that led her to become a mother on her own terms.
Bryony Farmer, a 26-year-old from South London, always knew she wanted to be a mother. As a child, she was fascinated by babies and had a strong maternal instinct. Even when she learned that she identifies as asexual at the age of 20, Bryony never doubted that she would one day become a mother.
Growing up, Bryony had a hard time understanding her peers' obsession with crushes and "cute boys." She questioned whether she might be gay, but quickly realized that she was not attracted to women either. She also wondered if she was just a late bloomer, but her diagnosis of Lyme's disease at 15 and subsequent years of illness made dating and relationships impossible.
At 19, Bryony decided to give dating a try, hoping that if she got to know someone well enough, sexual attraction would follow. However, her first experience with physical intimacy, a kiss on the fifth date, left her feeling uncomfortable and confused. It wasn't until she heard the term "ACE," short for asexual, on a YouTube video that she finally understood and accepted her identity.
Bryony always knew she wanted to have children, so she began exploring alternative routes to motherhood. She started by volunteering to host refugees in her spare room. This experience was so fulfilling that she decided to become a foster carer at 21 and welcomed nine children into her home.
Around the same time, Bryony was diagnosed with Adenomyosis, a condition that can affect fertility. Her gynecologist advised her that if she wanted children, she should start trying sooner rather than later. At 24, Bryony underwent fertility treatment using a sperm donor. Despite the successful outcome, she didn't experience the overwhelming joy she had expected upon seeing a positive pregnancy test, likely due to her concerns about her condition.
Bryony's son, Oryn, was born in 2024. As a single mother by choice, Bryony joined a growing number of women who are choosing to start families on their own. She hopes that by sharing her story, she can help others who may be on a similar path.
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