December 14th 2024.
A reader has reached out to the Metro Sex Column to share her experience of infidelity and how it has brought to light deeper issues in her long-term relationship. As many of us know, cheating does not solve problems in a relationship, but it can be a symptom of underlying issues within the partnership. In this week's column, we hear from a woman who didn't realize how unhappy she was with her boyfriend until she slept with someone else.
At the age of 27, this reader found herself in a one-night stand that not only gave her a sexual awakening, but also her first ever orgasm. She admits that she and her boyfriend have been together since their university days and were both virgins when they met. As a result, they have primarily learned about sex from each other, which may explain why their sex life has become quite "vanilla."
Recently, the reader has become friends with a co-worker who constantly shares juicy details about her own love life. This has made the reader realize that she is missing out on exciting experiences and has sparked a desire to explore more in the bedroom. When she went out for her friend's birthday, she made a conscious effort to look her best, knowing that if the opportunity presented itself, she would go for a wild night with someone.
Sure enough, a handsome man made a move on her and she ended up spending the night with him, experiencing things she never knew existed and achieving her first orgasm. This experience has left her feeling unsatisfied with her relationship and she no longer desires sex with her boyfriend, who she describes as a "hopeless lover" in comparison. She still loves him, but questions if she is truly "in love" with him. She doesn't want to break up, but realizes that things cannot continue as they are.
The advice given to her is to have an open and honest conversation with her boyfriend about their sex life. While she may believe that the lack of passion and excitement is solely his fault, it's important for her to also reflect on her own inhibitions and if she ever truly lets go with her partner. She is encouraged to use her newfound knowledge and pleasure to show her boyfriend how to help her reach orgasm, without directly criticizing him. It's also suggested for her to do some research and share any interesting sex tips with him, as they both have much to learn.
It's important for her to also consider her partner's desires and make an effort to make sex more enjoyable for him as well. Ultimately, a healthy and fulfilling sex life is a two-way street. If she feels that they will always be sexually incompatible, then it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. Cheating is destructive and a fresh start may be necessary.
In the end, the reader is reminded that nine years is a long time to throw away, but if they are truly not compatible in the bedroom, it may be best to move on. The columnist, Laura, is a counsellor who offers expert advice and encourages readers to send in their own sex and dating dilemmas for her to address.
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