Working 3 jobs, 45yo won't have enough to retire.

I feel incredibly stressed, inadequate, and insecure. Every time I look at the rent leaving my account, it's hard to not feel deflated knowing I'll never own my own place, and that the bills never seem to end. At 45 years old, I know I won't be able to retire at 66, despite still having over 20 years to go. It's crazy to think that way but at the same time, I can't imagine a world where I can change my future.

The biggest factor to this is my lack of knowledge and education around finances, retirement and pension plans. I think that if there was more information and education around private pensions, then people would understand the importance of saving and prioritizing. It's hard to think about retirement when you're young, and that's why I only began to think about my pension after reading a study from Working Wise. It found that 50% of older women are planning to work into their retirement due to the gender pensions gap, with 53% of respondents unable to be financially independent on their pension.

This made me realize that I'm probably going to be in the 53%, even though I work three jobs. Inflation rates have increased over the last 40 years and this will only continue, yet my pension payments haven't grown, so I don't see a way out of this. I also regret not paying into a pension when I was living in Kenya for 10 years. I was unaware that I had to pay into my UK pension and I was never contacted to be informed of this. I understand the consequences now but at the time, I just didn't understand it all enough.

When I moved back to the UK, I had to take any job I could get, which was a low-level income job with no pension support. I now have six pensions, but I don't know how to manage them or understand what I have. I need a financial advisor, but I can't afford one. My fear is that I won't have enough when I retire, so I've taken out life and critical illness insurance to cover my income. This comes with an extra expense, but it helps me to sleep at night.

I'm teaching my daughters the importance of financial planning, as I want them to avoid the same mistakes I made. I want them to understand their choices early, so they don't have to worry about it later in life. If I could choose when to retire, I would say aged 60-65, but I know I won't be able to. That's why I'm hoping the tide turns and people start to get a better understanding from an earlier age, otherwise I fear many more people will get to retirement age and find themselves in my situation.

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