October 6th 2024.
In a heartwarming photo, we see three solo moms, Emma, Clare, and Sarah, smiling with their children Xander, Albert, Astrid, and Oliver. These strong and independent women have chosen to embark on the journey of motherhood alone, and their children are the light of their lives.
Nine years ago, Emma Halliday found herself in a conversation that changed her perspective on motherhood. Her friend, who was 45 years old and still waiting for a partner to have a child with, was on a waiting list for counseling to cope with the grief of not being able to have children. This struck a chord with Emma, as she was also single at 27 and feared she would end up in the same situation.
"It was like a slap in the face," Emma recalls in an interview with Metro. "I had always dreamed of being a mother and the thought of not being able to fulfill that dream was overwhelming. I started to question what was wrong with me and why I hadn't found a partner. It was then that I made the decision that if I reached 40 and still hadn't found someone, I would do it alone."
And that's exactly what she did. In March 2022, Emma went to a fertility clinic and underwent IVF using donor sperm from Denmark. Today, at 43 years old, she is a proud mother to Xander, a curious and energetic one-year-and-nine-month-old boy who loves dinosaurs.
When asked about her decision to become a solo mom, Emma explains, "After my breakup, I went traveling and had a new lease on life, but the desire to be a mother never left me. I tried to ignore it and tell myself that if it was meant to be, it would happen. But deep down, I knew I wanted to be a mother more than anything."
Making the decision to do it alone was not easy for Emma. It took a lot of courage and financial investment, approximately £9,000, for initial consultations, tests, medications, and the IVF procedure. Emma also sought counseling to help her come to terms with using donor sperm.
Despite only a 17% chance of success, Emma became pregnant after the first embryo was implanted. Her best friend, Chloe, was her birthing partner and accompanied her to prenatal appointments. Emma describes the moment she found out she was pregnant as a surreal and emotional experience.
"People often assume that being a solo mom would be more difficult, but I have found the opposite to be true," Emma shares. "I have had a great support system and have received help from family and friends. I think it's because I am on my own that people are more willing to lend a helping hand."
Emma's friend even stayed with her for the first week after Xander was born in November 2022. Despite the challenges of being a single parent, Emma has found motherhood to be easier than she expected. She jokes that having eyes in the back of her head to keep up with her walking toddler is a skill all parents need.
"Motherhood was not my Plan A, but I wouldn't have it any other way," Emma says with a smile. "It has been a dream come true, and I feel incredibly fortunate to have my little boy by my side."
Emma is not alone in her journey. In the past year, 3,548 single women in the UK underwent IVF alone, an 82% increase since 2019. These women call themselves "Solo Moms by Choice" and have formed a strong community of support through a dedicated Facebook group with over 4,000 members.
However, not everyone understands or supports the decision to become a solo mom. Sarah Glover, a 58-year-old solo mom, shares that she has faced judgment and negativity throughout her journey. Despite this, she describes the experience as "unbelievable" and "amazing."
"People close to me, who I thought would celebrate my journey, have been judgmental and questioned my decision," Sarah says. "They have said hurtful things like, 'you're too old' or 'you'll be 76 when your child is 20.' But my mom and friends have been my biggest supporters."
Sarah gave birth to her son, Oliver, in March 2023. She shares that the journey has not been easy, but the love she has for her son makes it all worth it.
"Being a solo mom is not something I planned for, but it's the best thing that has ever happened to me," Sarah says as she looks lovingly at her son. "I am grateful every day for this long-awaited dream of motherhood and feel blessed to have Oliver by my side."
From left to right, we have Emma, Sarah, and Clare, proud solo mothers with their children Xander, Astrid, Albert, and Oliver. It's hard to believe that just a few years ago, these women were faced with the daunting prospect of single motherhood. Emma, who was 27 at the time, vividly remembers the moment when she realized that she could end up in the same situation as her 45-year-old friend who was desperately waiting for counseling to cope with the fact that she may never have a child. The reason? She hadn't found "the one" yet.
As an NHS worker, Emma couldn't help but wonder how many other women were facing the same predicament. After her own long-term relationship ended, she found it difficult to find a serious partner. The thought of not being able to have a child was like a slap in the face for her. She had always dreamed of becoming a mother, and the idea of not being able to fulfill that dream left her feeling hopeless and questioning what was wrong with her.
It was at that moment that Emma made a life-changing decision. She promised herself that by the time she turned 40, if she hadn't found a partner, she would go ahead and have a child on her own. And that's exactly what she did. In March 2022, Emma went to a fertility clinic in Leeds and underwent IVF with the help of donor sperm from Denmark. Today, at the age of 43, Emma is the proud mother of Xander, a curious and energetic one-year-and-nine-month-old who loves dinosaurs.
But why did Emma choose to become a solo mother? After her breakup, she went traveling and tried to convince herself that if she was meant to have a child, it would happen naturally. But the desire to be a mother was always there, lingering in the back of her mind. She was constantly wondering what type of father her potential partners would be, which made her feel desperate to find someone to start a family with. After much contemplation, Emma decided that she couldn't wait any longer and decided to take matters into her own hands.
The process was not easy, emotionally or financially. Emma spent around £9,000 for consultations, tests, medications, and the IVF itself. She also sought counseling to help her come to terms with the idea of using donor sperm. Despite the low success rate of 17%, Emma became pregnant after the first embryo was implanted. Her best friend Chloe was her birthing partner and accompanied her to prenatal appointments. Emma recalls feeling incredibly nervous when she took the pregnancy test, but when she saw that second line, she was overjoyed. She giggled, cried, and felt a warm sense of gratitude as she rubbed her tummy.
Some people may assume that being a solo mother is difficult, but Emma disagrees. In fact, she feels lucky to have had a great support system during her pregnancy and after Xander was born. Her friend even stayed with her for the first week to help her take care of the baby. Of course, there are challenges, such as the high cost of childcare and having to constantly keep an eye on her walking toddler. But Emma says that it's not as difficult as she had initially expected.
Becoming a solo mother may not have been Emma's plan A, but it has turned out to be the best decision she ever made. She feels incredibly fortunate to have Xander in her life and couldn't imagine it any other way. For her, being a solo mother has been a long-awaited dream come true.
Emma is not alone in her journey. In the past year, 3,548 single women in the UK underwent IVF alone, an 82% increase since 2019. These women, who call themselves Solo Mums by Choice, have formed a supportive community and there's even a dedicated Facebook group with over 4,000 members.
However, not everyone understands or supports the decision to become a solo mother. Sarah Glover, a 58-year-old solo mother, has faced judgment and negativity from some people, despite the fact that she considers her journey to be an amazing and unbelievable experience. She has been told that she's too old and questioned about her decision to have a child on her own. Some even pointed out that she would be 76 when her son Oliver turns 20, as if she hadn't thought about it herself. This lack of support from some family members has been hurtful for Sarah, but she is grateful for the love and support she has received from her mother and friends.
Like Emma, Sarah's journey to single motherhood was not an easy one. But today, she has a beautiful son who brings her so much joy and love. To her, being a solo mother has been a dream come true, and she feels incredibly lucky to have Oliver in her life. Despite the challenges and the judgment from some, these women are proud and empowered solo mothers who have chosen to create their own families and fulfill their lifelong dreams of motherhood.
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