July 25th 2023.
Wedding trends have come a long way since their ancient beginnings. The choreographed routines and herb-filled bouquets of the 17th century have been replaced by flashmob-style first dances and wildflower arrangements. But one tradition has remained: the 'cake smash'.
The cake smash dates back to ancient Rome, when brides were presented with barley cake to symbolise male dominance and future fertility. Now, couples tend to opt for a more playful approach, smashing a freshly-cut cake into each other's faces to symbolise their fun-loving personalities.
According to Hitched.co.uk's National Wedding Survey, 79% of couples who married in 2022 included a cake cutting ceremony. However, this tradition isn't always seen as a good omen among wedding professionals. On a Reddit thread where industry workers shared their wedding day red flags, one photographer wrote: "I swear that all of the couples that have split up have smashed the cake in their significant other's face."
Elite event and wedding planner Lisa Lafferty, who recently organised the nuptials of Selling Sunset star Christine Quinn, echoed this sentiment. She told The Agency: "I always advise my couples to avoid the cake smash at all costs. Not only is it messy, but it’s also not appropriate – especially for the luxury events that my team and I work on."
The cost and effort that goes into planning a wedding likely factors into why a cake smash is so controversial. You don't want to spend hours having your makeup done and hundreds on a multi-tiered masterpiece, only to have it destroyed in a matter of seconds.
If you have your heart set on it, Lisa recommends keeping a 'glam team on standby for touch-ups' to mitigate the impact on your photos. But there's more to consider before going ahead with a cake smash.
First and foremost, it's important to make sure that it's something both partners agree on. Dr Becky Spelman, psychologist and founder at Private Therapy Clinic, told The Agency: "A cake smash that occurs without mutual agreement or when one partner feels uncomfortable with the act could potentially highlight issues related to control, disrespect, or disregard for boundaries."
You also need to think about everyone else that's part of your special day. When Lisa witnessed a cake smash as a guest, she said she "was honestly in disbelief that it was happening," adding that "the groom's new in-laws were displeased" at their daughter's unexpected humiliation.
Amy Jenkin, marketing executive at Lake District Country Hotels, advises telling staff your plans ahead of time. "Make the special moment last forever by pre-warning your photographer so you can laugh about it for many years to come," she said.
Ultimately, your wedding should reflect you as a couple, celebrating your love and unique partnership with those you care about most. If your tastes lean towards the sillier side of life, a mutual smash may just be the icing on the cake of your nuptials. But if there's any hint of negativity in your intentions, or if you think things could be misinterpreted, the prank is unlikely to be worth the risk.
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