July 27th 2023.
There's a lot of shame and stigma surrounding debt, but it's important to be honest. Asking For A Friend is here to answer all the questions you don't want to ask. In these times of cost of living crisis, relationships have also been affected. Whether it's not being able to afford dates or feeling overwhelmed about credit card debt, we all have to find new ways to talk about money in both new and existing relationships.
Some conversations are easier than others, especially those involving debt. If you're one of the approximately 10 million people struggling with debt, you may be debating whether or not to tell your partner. With so much stigma and shame, it's no surprise that 70% of those in debt don't talk to anyone about it.
But the truth is, it's usually better to get everything out in the open, especially if you want your relationship to last. Keeping secrets can take a toll on both you and your relationship, and it can make it harder to manage the situation, leading to bigger problems down the line. Georgia Galloway, a finance expert at Finbri, tells The Agency, "If your partner doesn't know about your financial issues, they might make plans that you can't afford, which can lead to more debt."
It can be awkward, but hiding it will only make the problem worse. It doesn't have to be a conversation on the first or third date, but it's best to tell your partner when things are getting serious enough that you want to tell them, but early enough that it won't negatively affect them.
When it comes to opening up about debt, it's important to find the right setting, be honest, and be ready to answer any questions. Don't procrastinate, as this will only make it harder in the long run. Be honest about your emotions, but be aware of theirs as well. Give them space if they need it.
Finally, it's okay to ask for emotional support, and to offer it back. Make sure to tell your partner about what progress you're making on the debt, like if there's a payment plan in place. Let them know how they can help.
Having the conversation about debt can be tricky, but it's important to be honest. With the right setting, timing, and preparation, you'll be able to get it all out in the open and move forward in your relationship without it constantly in the back of your mind.
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