April 5th 2024.
Cassandra and her husband have been married for 20 years. They share a deep love for each other, but as with any couple, they have their differences. One major difference between them is their sex drives.
Cassandra, a 43-year-old mother-of-two, is part of our series, "How I Do It," where we get a glimpse into the sex life of a stranger for seven days. She opens up about her relationship and the challenges they face when it comes to intimacy.
Despite being together for two decades, Cassandra and her husband, who is 49, have very different sex drives. This became even more apparent when her husband started receiving testosterone injections. While they still have sex once a week on average, Cassandra admits that her husband's increased libido due to the injections can sometimes feel overwhelming.
But even with their differences, Cassandra's husband is always attentive and tries his best to please her. She appreciates his efforts, but also wishes she had the same desire for sex as he does, especially for his sake.
Her husband started receiving testosterone injections five years ago after being treated for a rare condition called acromegaly. The injections have a side effect of boosting his libido. On the other hand, Cassandra's enjoyment of sex changed after giving birth to their second child. She experienced post-natal depression, the loss of a loved one, and caring responsibilities, which all contributed to a decrease in her sex drive.
Cassandra shares that her husband will often ask if she's "ready" for him when he knows he's due for an injection. They laugh about it, but deep down, she can't help but feel frustrated that his sexual peak came at a time when she's already overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being a mother and a caregiver.
Without further ado, we'll dive into Cassandra's sex diary for the week.
Sunday rolls around, and after a weekend full of household chores and running errands, the last thing Cassandra wants is to be intimate. She's exhausted and feels resentment towards being the go-to person for everything. However, when her husband suggests watching a TV series they started weeks ago, she starts to worry if he's hinting at having sex. They agree to watch a couple of episodes, but Cassandra falls asleep on the sofa after just ten minutes.
Monday evening, the kids are in bed, and they try to watch the series again. Her husband starts to massage her leg, and she appreciates the tenderness. He brings up sex, and Cassandra jokes that she can't handle a full-on porno, meaning she's only up for a quickie. They often make this joke because her husband tends to go for lengthy foreplay and multiple positions, which she finds exhausting. Instead of being in the moment, she's consumed with worries about mundane things, such as when she needs her car's MOT or if her son has enough money for school lunch. She admits that his desire to make sex last longer is what often puts her off, even though she's aware that it's a sad thing to admit.
Nothing happens that night, and her husband ends up sleeping in the spare room to avoid their youngest child crawling into bed with them. Cassandra doesn't even consider how her husband must feel about not sharing a bed with his wife, as she's relieved to have the bed to herself.
Tuesday morning, Cassandra is up early with the kids and has to urge her husband to get out of bed and help with the morning routine. She feels overwhelmed with the responsibilities of being a mother, maid, and general dogsbody, which leaves little room for feeling sexy. She remembers a time when she was younger and wanted sex as much as her husband, if not more. But now, she struggles to switch off her thoughts about chores and responsibilities and focus on intimacy.
As the week goes on, Cassandra's diary entries reflect the challenges she faces in balancing her roles as a wife, mother, and caregiver while still trying to maintain a healthy sex life with her husband. Despite their differences in sex drives, they share a deep love for each other, and Cassandra is grateful for her husband's efforts to keep their intimacy alive.
Cassandra's story revolves around her and her husband's differing sex drives. They have been together for 20 years and while they love each other, their sexual compatibility has been a challenge. Cassandra is a 43-year-old mother of two and her husband is 49. She is participating in a series called "How I Do It" where she shares her sexual experiences for a week.
Cassandra explains that their sex drives have always been different, but it became more apparent after her husband started receiving testosterone injections. These injections were for a rare condition he was diagnosed with, called acromegaly. As a result, his libido has been boosted, which has made their differences more pronounced.
On average, they have sex once a week, but Cassandra wishes she had more desire for it. She acknowledges that her husband is very attentive and tries his best to pleasure her, but she feels guilty that she can't reciprocate the same level of enthusiasm. She admits that she enjoys the selfish aspect of being able to have sex whenever she wants, but she also wishes she could do it more for her husband's sake.
Cassandra's husband's sexual peak couldn't have come at a worse time for her. After giving birth to their second child, she experienced post-natal depression, the loss of a loved one, and had to take on more caring responsibilities. She feels overwhelmed and exhausted most of the time, making it difficult for her to be in the mood for sex.
She shares a recent experience where her husband asked if she wanted to watch a series they had started, and she immediately felt anxious that it was code for wanting sex. She agrees to watch a couple of episodes, but her exhaustion leads her to fall asleep on the sofa. The next day, she tries to make light of the situation by joking that she can't handle a "full porno," meaning she can't handle a long and intense sexual encounter. She reveals that her mind is often consumed with other worries and she can't fully enjoy the moment with her husband.
The next day, she wakes up to take care of the kids and has to ask her husband to help with the morning routine. She feels frustrated with always being the one in charge and doesn't feel sexy in her role as a mother and caretaker. She reminisces about the early days of their relationship when she was more adventurous and wanted sex as much as her husband.
These days, she keeps track of their sexual encounters to defend herself if her husband complains about the lack of frequency. She feels like a "robot" who has to wear multiple hats, such as being a mother, maid, and general dogsbody. She longs for the days when sex was exciting and spontaneous, rather than feeling like a chore.
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