October 4th 2024.
Kirsty made a decision to change her approach last summer. She was sitting in the garden, enjoying the warm weather, with a book in her hand. As she watched her 11-year-old daughter Ella proudly demonstrate her ability to hold a handstand for a long time, Kirsty couldn't help but feel happy. This was a moment that she had been looking forward to for months. She was on a break from work and was glad that her family was spending time outdoors instead of being glued to screens.
The summer holidays were in full swing and Kirsty was making the most of every moment. Unlike previous holidays, her children Ella and Leo, aged seven, never complained of being bored or begged for screen time. Kirsty attributed this to her four rules for screen time, which she will explain more about later. It wasn't always this way though.
In the past, when they had no plans, her kids would default to watching TV or playing on their tablets. While Kirsty didn't mind them having some screen time, she felt that her creative and imaginative children were missing out on other activities. She and her husband had strict boundaries in place, but there were times when the kids had longer screen time than they were supposed to, leading to inconsistency.
Kirsty strongly believes that childhood should not be spent with heads buried in screens. She noticed that constantly saying "no" to her kids' requests for screen time was making them all miserable. She felt guilty for denying their requests, and the kids felt like they were missing out on what their friends were doing online. They were not the only family facing this problem.
Recent research has shown that excessive screen time can negatively impact mental health, sleep, behavior, and even lead to cyberbullying and exposure to inappropriate content. It was time for Kirsty to take action. In the 2020 lockdown, she introduced a "boredom jar" where her kids could pick an activity to do when they were bored. This helped spark their imagination and keep them busy. But even this became boring after a while.
Feeling frustrated, Kirsty decided to change tactics last summer. She had heard about screen time charts where kids set their own limits and activities before using screens. However, she believed that it was ultimately the parents' responsibility to control screen time. So she came up with four questions for her kids to ask themselves each day during the holidays: 1) Have I spent at least 60 minutes outside? 2) Have I read? 3) Have I played? 4) Have I tidied up after myself? These were non-negotiable rules that the kids agreed to follow.
To Kirsty's surprise, the results exceeded her expectations. The boredom jar became interesting again, and her kids happily spent time outside, writing stories, making potions, and rediscovering their love for Playmobil and board games. Their rooms were tidier, and they were more focused on completing tasks before asking for screen time. The kids were happier, and they even spent more time doing activities than the minimum limit suggested.
The success of this approach led Kirsty to make it a permanent rule in their household, not just for holidays but all year round. They have a ban on gaming and tablets during the week, and on weekends, when all screens are allowed, they have to complete their homework first. Kirsty believes that setting boundaries and promoting healthy screen time habits is crucial for children's wellbeing.
As a result of this change, Ella can now hold a handstand for five seconds, and Leo's cricket skills have improved from spending more time outdoors. Kirsty proudly declares that they have finally got it right and is excited for what the future holds. She encourages other parents to try implementing similar boundaries for their children's screen time. This article was originally published in August 2024. What are your thoughts on screen time? Share your views in the comments below.
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