My boyfriend proposed, but then confessed that he had impregnated someone else.

Just like Dave Grohl, lead singer of the Foo Fighters, my partner, Tom*, had also fathered a child with another woman. It was a piece of news that no woman ever wants to hear - the betrayal of their partner's infidelity. As I came across the news this week, my heart sank and I couldn't help but feel a sense of déjà vu. It wasn't too long ago that I found myself in the exact same position as the woman who was cheated on; only it was revealed because, just like Grohl, Tom had fathered a child with another woman.

Tom and I had been together for four years and we were inseparable. We shared a love for the same music and enjoyed partying together. Despite having demanding day jobs, we always looked forward to the weekends where we could let loose and dance the night away with our friends. Of course, like any couple, we had our ups and downs, mostly revolving around our different life goals. But we worked through it all and arrived at a place where we were both happy and deeply in love. To everyone who knew us, we were the perfect couple. We would arrive hand-in-hand and leave in each other's arms. The thought of infidelity never even crossed my mind. Even during our toughest moments, I never once entertained the idea of wanting someone else.

So when Tom proposed to me out of the blue, I wasn't surprised. We had talked about marriage many times before. And even though the timing wasn't exactly how we had planned, I said yes. As I looked at him, I couldn't help but think, "How lucky am I?"

Little did I know that this happiness would soon be ripped away. Tom had a confession to make, just minutes after popping the question. "Do you know what you mean to me? Everything. But I need to tell you something," he said. With all the sense in the world, I couldn't have guessed what he was about to reveal. "I've made a mistake. A big one," he continued. My heart started racing and I felt cold as I waited for him to explain.

"I started seeing someone during our rough patch," he finally confessed. I felt dizzy and stared at him in disbelief. "Is it over?" I asked, trying to hold on to any sliver of hope. "That's not the worst part. She's pregnant," he added. Those words hit me like a ton of bricks. It felt like the end of everything - our dreams, our plans, and all the love I had freely given to him above all others.

For the next few days, I cried hysterically and Tom never left my side. He held me as I broke down, stroked my head until I fell asleep, and even made me food even though I couldn't eat. We both took a week off work and spent every waking moment talking about the situation. The other woman was 12 weeks pregnant and Tom had only seen her a couple of times. He ended things as soon as he realized that there was still a chance with me.

In my head, I played out all the different ways that this would change the life we had planned together. Slowly, I started to come to terms with my new reality - the wronged woman who would stand by her man. I went back to work and faced all the people in my life who loved me, but I couldn't help but feel consumed by this situation I never asked for. I tried to figure out a way to navigate through it, but my thoughts were consumed by Tom's infidelity and the child he had with someone else.

Then, one evening while walking alone along the Southbank, it hit me. I didn't want to be the wronged woman. I didn't want to live a life overshadowed by my partner's betrayal. As I contemplated my future, I absentmindedly scrolled through my social media and came across an image that made my stomach turn. It was an ultrasound scan picture from the other woman - my fiancé's baby. I felt nauseous and immediately messaged her back, telling her to never contact me again. But she didn't stop. She would create new accounts just to get in touch. Her messages were long and filled with details about their relationship, their sexual encounters, and angry accusations of me being a terrible person for denying a child their father. It disturbed me and threw me off the tightrope I was walking on.

Even as Tom reassured me that it was over between them and any decision involving the child would be a joint one between us, I couldn't shake off the feeling that he would always have a part of his life that I couldn't be a part of. It wasn't just about the child, but also all the firsts - first steps, first words, first day of school, sports days, school concerts, holidays. Every happy moment in this child's life would be tainted because I chose to stay and be the martyr. I thought about starting anew and felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.

I realized that I couldn't forgive the cheating, especially with a child involved. I didn't want to be Tom's hero. I wanted to be my own. So, I made the decision to walk away from our relationship, despite the financial, emotional, and physical strain it would cause. My ex was devastated, begging and pleading for me to stay and work things out. But I no longer felt safe with him. And the nature of the other woman's messages made me realize that she was not someone I wanted in my life either.

As I started my new journey, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I dressed differently, listened to music again, and eventually started smiling again. Even as I write this, I don't recognize the naïve girl I once was - the girl who believed in a fantasy. Leaving my relationship allowed me to live the life I have now - traveling the world and writing about it - something I could have never done if I stayed with my ex.

The last I heard, through friends, was that Tom was playing a role in the child's life. And that was the best outcome for everyone, which is what I had hoped for. As I think about Jordyn Blum, Dave Grohl's wife, and the pain she must be going through, my advice to her is this - it's difficult to see the right thing to do when you've been betrayed in the worst possible way. The need for revenge and closure will be overwhelming, and you would be forgiven for wanting it. But I cannot imagine how it must feel to find yourself in this situation after three children and 21 years of marriage. There is no universal solution to overcoming the pain, but what I've learned from my own journey is that there can be joy even in the worst of situations. The road ahead may seem unclear, but you will find your way and reach the next phase of your life that has been waiting for you all along. (*Name has been changed)

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