January 3rd 2025.
This week's featured diarist has been feeling a little frustrated lately with the challenges of maintaining a long-distance relationship. Welcome to "How I Do It," the series where we give you an inside look into the sex life of a stranger. Today, we're hearing from Felicity, a 26-year-old woman from Brooklyn, New York. She's been in a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend Tom for the past two-and-a-half years, ever since they met on the dating app Hinge.
Living three hours apart and with busy work schedules, Felicity wishes they could spend more quality time together. "When we first met, we were in the same area," she explains. "I was worried about him moving away and us losing our connection." Despite discussing the possibility of breaking up, they both decided to make it work.
Their love for each other remains strong, and even their sex life is thriving. "I remember the first time we had sex after he moved away, I cried because it felt just as amazing as it did before," Felicity recalls. "We made a promise to never go more than two weeks without seeing each other, and so far, we've been able to keep it."
Without further ado, let's dive into Felicity's week and see how she's managing the distance.
Monday:
It's been two days since they last saw each other and four days since they were intimate. Felicity reminisces about their last encounter, which was everything a couple could dream of after being together for two-and-a-half years – long, exciting, and new. Being at Tom's parents' house added an extra layer of thrill, as they had to be quiet and could easily get caught. Felicity believes that keeping things exciting is vital in keeping the spark alive.
On Mondays, she works from home, so she spends the day crossing things off her to-do list and running errands. She keeps Tom updated with her activities and even sends him photos of her lunch. He's working an evening shift, so she doesn't expect to hear from him until late. But to her surprise, he calls her around 11 PM on his drive home. As a night owl, Felicity enjoys these late-night calls and appreciates ending her day with a conversation with her boyfriend.
Tuesday:
Felicity wakes up early and goes to the office, where she gets to interact with her coworkers. She and Tom exchange texts throughout the day, and on her way home, she receives a suggestive text from him. "You want daddy to take care of you?" he asks. The thought alone makes her blush and feel butterflies in her stomach. While they don't have a dominant-submissive kink, both of them enjoy using the "daddy" dirty talk in their sex life.
Once home, Felicity takes a long shower and makes dinner before relaxing for the night. The sexy text banter from earlier is still on her mind, and she ends up masturbating before Tom calls her. She admits that she masturbates more now that they're in a long-distance relationship, but when they're together, she doesn't feel the need. Phone sex and sending nudes have always been a part of their relationship, and she finds it easy and enjoyable. "I use the 'invisible ink' feature on my iPhone to avoid any other eyes," she explains. "It allows you to send pictures that can only be viewed after erasing a shimmering wall."
Before going to bed, they talk on the phone, and Felicity tells Tom how horny his texts made her. The conversation is flirty, and she can't help but miss him. Reflecting on how her relationship with Tom has helped her grow, she shares, "I used to be quite repressed when it came to sex and even felt afraid of it. But with Tom, I've experienced a man who truly enjoys making me feel good and prioritizes my pleasure. This has given me confidence in the bedroom, and I've even tried role play for the first time and loved it."
Wednesday:
Felicity can't help but feel frustrated when Tom tells her that he's unsure if he'll be able to visit on Thursday or Friday. She's been traveling a lot this month, making their limited time together even more scarce. In the evening, she goes to a party with a coworker who asks about Tom. Felicity chooses to focus on the positive aspects of their relationship and only shares the good things.
One of the biggest challenges of being in a long-distance relationship, according to Felicity, is constantly having to answer questions from others. "People are trying to be nice and show interest, but I hate feeling like I have to explain myself or defend my boyfriend," she shares. Tom plans to eventually move back to New York, but the date is still undetermined, leaving people curious. After coming home from the party, Felicity is feeling a bit tipsy and sends Tom a text, telling him not to say he misses her if he's not going to make an effort to see her.
She knows it's immature, and she immediately regrets it when Tom calls her after finishing work. "He hates going to bed angry," she explains. "In the two-and-a-half years we've been together, we've never gone to bed angry." As they talk on the phone, they both share their perspectives and resolve their issue. "I've noticed that we don't fight more since going long distance, we just fight about different things, usually logistical stuff," Felicity says. "And the longer we go without seeing each other, the more miscommunication leads to arguments." Tom reassures her that he wants to see her more than anything, but he's not sure if he can make it this time. Felicity falls asleep, hoping that he'll still make it and feeling the effects of the two martinis she had earlier.
Let's dive into the world of long-distance relationships with this week's diarist. She may seem like any other 26-year-old living in Brooklyn, but Felicity's love life has its own unique challenges. You see, she's in a long-distance relationship with her boyfriend Tom, whom she met on a dating app two-and-a-half years ago. Despite living three hours apart, their love for each other knows no boundaries. However, like any other couple in a long-distance relationship, they face their fair share of frustrations.
Felicity recalls the initial days of their relationship when they lived in the same area. She was hesitant when Tom had to move away, worried that they would feel disconnected from each other. They even considered breaking up, but their love for each other held them back. Now, even though they are miles apart, their love is still going strong, and their sex life is just as healthy.
Felicity reminisces about the first time they had sex after Tom moved away. She was relieved to find that it still felt the same, as if nothing had changed between them. They made a promise to never go more than two weeks without seeing each other, and so far, they have managed to keep it up. Without further ado, let's take a look at how Felicity's week went by.
Monday starts off with Felicity working from home, catching up on her to-do list and running errands. She keeps texting Tom throughout the day, updating him on her activities and even sends him pictures of her lunch. He's working an evening shift, so she knows she won't hear from him for a while. But to her surprise, he calls her on his way home from work. Being a night owl, Felicity doesn't mind the late-night calls, and it's the perfect way to end her day.
Felicity's Tuesday starts early as she heads to the office, giving her a chance to interact with her coworkers. She and Tom exchange flirty texts throughout the day, making her cheeks flush. On her way home, she receives a suggestive text from Tom, making her heart race. She can't wait for their phone call, but the anticipation becomes too much, and she ends up masturbating before he calls. She admits that she masturbates more often since they became long-distance, but when they are together, she never feels the need. Phone sex and sending each other nudes are things they have always enjoyed, and they make the effort to keep their passion alive.
As their relationship progressed, Felicity found that she was more open and confident in the bedroom with Tom. She had grown up feeling repressed when it came to sex, but with him, she felt liberated. They even tried role-playing, something she had never done before, and she enjoyed it. Wednesday brings some frustration as Tom's visit is uncertain due to their busy schedules and Felicity's upcoming travels. Felicity attends a party with her colleague, who asks her about Tom. She only shares the good things, as she finds it challenging to explain her situation to others.
One of the hardest things about being in a long-distance relationship, according to Felicity, is the constant questioning from others. While she knows they mean well, she hates feeling like she has to defend her relationship. After a few martinis, she sends Tom a text, expressing her disappointment in his uncertain plans. She knows it's immature, and it upsets him when he calls her after work. They both explain their sides, and they never go to bed angry, a rule they have followed throughout their relationship. Felicity admits that they don't fight more often, but they do find themselves arguing about logistics and miscommunication when they go too long without seeing each other.
According to relationship counselor Holly Roberts, there are ways to make a long-distance relationship work. She suggests being open and honest with each other, finding ways to keep the spark alive, and setting realistic expectations. Felicity and Tom have been able to do all of these things, and their love continues to thrive despite the distance. As Felicity goes to bed, she holds on to the hope that Tom will still make it, drifting off into a restless sleep.
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