July 20th 2024.
Struggling to conceive a baby can really take a toll on a couple's sex life. This week, we'll be discussing a reader's issue with his wife, who has been having trouble getting aroused since finding out about his low sperm count. Despite still being attracted to her and having no issues when he's on his own, he just can't seem to get in the mood when they're together.
Before we dive into the advice, don't forget to check out last week's column where we tackled a problem from a man whose married girlfriend wanted to have her cake and eat it too.
So, let's get into it. Our reader here used to have a fantastic sex life with his gorgeous wife. They were spontaneous, not afraid to get a little adventurous, and had sex almost every day. But when they decided to try for a baby about 18 months ago, things took a turn for the worse. Despite their frequent and passionate lovemaking, his wife didn't get pregnant, leading them to get tested. That's when they found out about his low sperm count.
The doctor recommended some lifestyle changes such as cutting back on drinking and wearing looser underwear, as well as having regular sex to increase the chances of conception. Our reader went above and beyond, trying every sperm-boosting remedy he could find online and even taking supplements like ginseng and iron tablets. But despite all his efforts, things only seemed to get worse.
The one thing that shouldn't have been a problem, regular sex, suddenly became a major issue. He found himself struggling to get aroused when his partner was around, even though everything seemed to work fine when he was alone. It's a frustrating and anxiety-inducing situation, to say the least.
Now, onto the advice. First things first, it's important not to beat yourself up over this. If you can still achieve orgasm on your own, then the issue is most likely psychological. It's not uncommon for men to have trouble getting aroused when they feel like they have to perform on command. The added pressure of trying to get pregnant can make things even more difficult.
It's crucial to remember that sex is a way to express your love for your partner, not just a means to conceive. It might be helpful to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how you're feeling. If she knew what was going on in your head, she would want to support and comfort you.
While your doctor has recommended regular sex, it might be a good idea to take a break from intercourse for a few weeks. There are plenty of other ways to be intimate and connect with your partner, and taking the pressure off might help you relax and get back in the mood.
As for your low sperm count, it's unlikely that any over-the-counter supplements or tonics will make a significant difference. If you continue to experience difficulties, fertility treatment may be necessary. There are many options available, such as IVF, hormonal therapy, or even donor insemination. It's a process that takes time, so try not to put too much pressure on yourself to succeed immediately. Remember, you're not alone in this, and there are resources available to support you, such as Fertility Network UK.
On a final note, it's essential to take care of your mental and emotional well-being during this challenging time. Seeking counseling or talking to a professional can be incredibly beneficial in managing any stress or anxiety you may be experiencing. And as always, if you have any more questions or concerns, don't hesitate to reach out to us for expert advice.
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