October 31st 2024.
As I've been talking to voters in swing states, trying to help elect the first female president, I've noticed something interesting: the decisions being made within divided American households - and particularly by wives. Instead of trying to persuade their husbands to vote for the Democratic ticket, many are convincing them not to vote at all.
One woman, Kerry from Easton, Pennsylvania, shared with me that she had already sent in her vote for Kamala Harris, but she knew there was no way she could change her husband's mind. However, she did have a strategy - she was going to try to get him to just avoid the whole thing and stay on the couch. She even gave me a cheeky laugh, a wink, and a high five, as if to say, "Leave it with me."
As I continued knocking on doors, I encountered another woman who had been subtly dropping hints to her husband about all the broken promises and chaos of the Trump years. She would ask him, "Do we really want another four years of that?" and then move on without turning it into an argument or trying to lecture him about supporting Kamala. When I asked her about her strategy, she wearily responded, "We've been married for 30 years now...I can't go through 2016 or 2020 again."
She went on to explain how the constant arguing over politics had torn their family apart, to the point where they couldn't even watch the news without getting into a heated argument. It had taken them four years to finally get back to a place where they could watch the news without fighting. So, for her, it wasn't about convincing her husband to vote for Kamala, but rather just getting him to stay at home and pretend the election wasn't happening.
I was shocked by these stories of women living with husbands who were Trump supporters, even to the point of still believing that Joe Biden had stolen the 2020 election. These women had tried everything - fact-checking, policy discussions, debates over character - but nothing could change their husbands' minds. So instead, they focused on planting seeds of doubt about Trump and suggesting that sitting out the election might not be the worst thing in the world.
And it seems to be working. One man told me he would never vote for a Democrat, no matter how qualified, but he was likely going to skip voting altogether this year. His partner looked up at me with a smirk, knowing that her quiet conversation had made a difference.
This unorganized phenomenon is a sobering reminder of how close the margins can be in an election. In 2016, if just 79,316 Trump voters in swing states had voted for Hillary Clinton instead, she would have won the election. This year, the polls are even narrower, which highlights the power of individual conversations within just a few thousand households.
Traditionally, men have been seen as the more politically dominant figure, but that narrative is shifting. Women not only participate in activism more than men, but they also turn out to vote in larger numbers. And now, they are influencing those closest to them - their husbands. By reducing the overall votes for Trump, these women are paving the way for a new era of electoral pragmatism.
In an election full of theatrics, noise, spectacle, and billions of dollars spent, it's these quiet conversations led by women that could ultimately make the difference. While campaigns are often measured by statistics like doors knocked on, dollars raised, and social media ads, the real battleground this time is much closer to home. And in an election that could shape the future of American society, it's fitting that it comes down to the conversations happening within individual households.
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[Generative AI is experimental.]
