September 6th 2023.
The news that Joe Jonas has officially filed for divorce from Sophie Turner has been enough of an emotional gut punch for me to digest. I mean, they were totally couple goals and if two people who I've never met and only know through things I see on social media can't make it work in this day and age, who bloody can?
Yet amidst the drama, one small nugget of info seems to be getting an irritating amount of attention. And that's that Joe has reportedly been the main caregiver for the couple's two children. According to sources, the kids have been with Joe most of the last few months and even on his recent tour as part of the Jonas Brothers. And of course, Joe has been praised, while Sophie has been dragged through the mud.
But if the roles were reversed and the children had mostly been with Sophie, would it even be a point worth mentioning? Absolutely not. In 2021, we are still heaping praise onto fathers for simply being fathers. It's a slap in the face for feminism and a backhand across the engorged tit of motherhood.
As a woman and a mother, I'm tragically aware of how low the bar is for fathers. I'm lucky to have an incredible partner and father to my nearly two-year old son but let's face it, a dad has to do the bare minimum to be considered great. While a mother only needs to make a single slip-up to feel the wrath of judgement from society.
Like, just recently when Keke Palmer's baby daddy appeared to shame her for a sexy outfit by reminding her she was a mum. Often it feels like once a woman gives birth, they're no longer allowed to be viewed through any other lens. I can't tell you the amount of times people were shocked by the fact my partner woke up in the night for bottle feeds, changed constant nappies and gave me hours to myself to nap, go for a walk or see my friends.
I'm not saying for a second that Joe isn't a great dad, but let's not give him such a huge pat on the back for literally taking care of his own kids. It's like when those fathers describe it as 'babysitting' their children and think they should receive a medal for giving their missus a 'night off'. Seriously, use the term 'babysitting' in front of the mother of your kids and you can guarantee there'll be no more babies. That statement is birth control alone.
Let's not forget that Sophie is currently filming a new series in London. Maybe childcare is easier with Joe as he has a bigger team of people to support him? Or maybe Sophie needs to focus on her craft without the distraction? And even if things aren't all rosy and there's something more serious occurring behind closed doors, why do people still feel the need to drag a young mum?
Until we reach a point where every mother's sacrifice can be celebrated, I don't think we need to throw a parade every time a father executes his parental responsibilities.
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