November 17th 2024.
Julia and Arabella's stories are powerful and heartbreaking. They both ended up in Alcoholics Anonymous at different times, but their journeys were similar. Arabella remembers a moment when she saw someone at a party completely drunk and realized that she would do the same thing in the future. She was only 26 when she finally admitted to herself and her mother Julia that she had a problem with alcohol. Her appearance at that moment was not glamorous, with bruises and dirty clothes, but it was a turning point for her.
Growing up, Arabella had been surrounded by alcohol and it was a normal part of her life. She took her first sip of wine from her mother's glass at the young age of five. As a teenager, she used alcohol as a coping mechanism for her depression. She felt that it was more acceptable for women to have depression than to have a drinking problem. Arabella's excessive drinking was easy to hide in the culture of binge-drinking in the nineties. She would often wake up hungover and avoid her phone because of the concerned messages from friends or people she accidentally called while drunk. She would spend her days crying and feeling confused about why her life was falling apart.
Despite seeking help from her doctor multiple times, Arabella was always prescribed more antidepressants and was never asked about her drinking habits. She was too ashamed to talk about her excessive drinking and felt that it was a shameful thing to admit. After university, she got a job in PR but was eventually fired due to her drinking. She ended up in the hospital, wearing a backless gown and feeling completely broken. It was then that she realized she needed help.
Growing up, Arabella had seen how alcohol had affected her mother, Julia. Julia drank to cope with her feelings of abandonment and her tumultuous relationship with her husband. She would often drink at home with her children and would do anything to get a drink. Julia drank every day for 35 years and eventually reached a point where she would drink in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning. She hid her habit with a special blue glass and boxes that prevented her from knowing how much she was consuming. She even hid a bottle of vodka in a turkey carcass in the freezer. Towards the end, Julia's life was falling apart and she felt suicidal.
Arabella's father, Stephen, also struggled with alcohol. He drank in a way that was specific to his class and generation. Arabella remembers drinking with her parents and feeling a strong bond with her father. But as she grew up, she realized that alcohol was not a source of strength, but rather a destructive force in her family.
Both Julia and Arabella found it difficult to confide in doctors about their alcohol problems. They felt that alcoholism was a taboo subject and it was easier to hide their struggles. But eventually, with the support of each other and the help of Alcoholics Anonymous, they were able to overcome their addiction and rebuild their relationships. Their stories serve as a reminder that it's important to reach out for help and support, no matter what time of day. Organizations like Samaritans are always available to offer support and guidance to those going through difficult times.
Julia and Arabella found themselves at Alcoholics Anonymous within months of each other. It was a turning point for both of them, and Arabella still remembers a specific moment that stands out in her mind.
She recalls a time at a university party where she watched a girl slowly become more and more intoxicated, eventually losing control and wetting herself. Arabella and her friends whispered and watched as the girl's dress became stained, but little did she know that she would find herself in a similar situation just two years later.
Arabella was 26 when she finally faced her alcoholism. She had been surrounded by alcohol her entire life, with both of her parents struggling with addiction. By the time she was a teenager, she was already following in their footsteps.
It all started innocently enough, with a sip from her mother's wine glass at just five years old. But as she grew older, Arabella turned to alcohol as a way to cope with her emotions. After a particularly difficult day at school, she went home and drank an entire bottle of wine alone in her room.
Arabella shares that she learned to use her excessive drinking to mask her depression, as she felt it was more socially acceptable for women. She explains that society often excuses women's drinking as a feminine ailment, rather than addressing it as a real problem.
Her mother, Julia, can relate all too well. She also struggled with alcoholism, and Arabella remembers seeing her mother's addiction take over their lives. Julia shares that she drank to numb her feelings and fears of abandonment, as her own parents were heavy drinkers and often fought and separated.
Julia drank every day for 35 years, hiding her habit with tricks like a special blue glass and drinking from boxes to avoid facing the amount she consumed. She even hid a bottle of vodka in a frozen turkey carcass and would drink in the morning before taking the dog out.
Despite their shared struggles, Julia and Arabella found it difficult to confide in doctors about their alcohol problem. They felt ashamed and didn't want to be questioned about the amount they were drinking.
For Arabella, her addiction eventually led to job loss and a hospital stay. It was there, sitting in a hospital gown and crying in the middle of the night, that she realized she needed help.
She also shares that growing up with an alcoholic father only added to her struggles. Arabella explains that drinking with him made her feel a sense of connection and power, despite the years of separation after her parents' divorce.
Now, both Julia and Arabella are in recovery and have a strong relationship. They continue to support each other and hope to break the cycle of addiction in their family.
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, know that there is help available. You can reach out to Samaritans for support at any time, day or night, and know that you are not alone.
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