August 28th 2024.
When it comes to talking to your friend about a potential alcohol problem, it's important to approach the situation with love and care rather than judgment. Our beloved agony aunt, Em Clarkson, is here to offer some sound advice on this and other reader conundrums. So, let's dive in and see what she has to say.
Dear Em, I'm worried that my friend may have a problem with alcohol. Whenever we go out, she goes overboard and ends up needing help getting home. The next day, she acts like nothing happened. I want to talk to her about it, but I don't know how to bring it up. Can you help?
This is a tough situation, and I can imagine how difficult it must be for both you and your friend. It's possible that her behavior is just a result of a wild personality and not indicative of alcoholism. However, as an outsider, it's easier for you to spot a potential problem. I must stress that I am not a professional in this area, but I have dealt with similar situations in my life. Some of my loved ones have been able to overcome their struggles, while others have needed professional help.
I have also learned a hard lesson in this process – you cannot force someone to seek help or change their ways. It's something they need to do for themselves because they want to. However, that doesn't mean you can't express your concern and offer your support. There's a great organization called Al-Anon that supports loved ones of addicts. I suggest checking them out and gaining some knowledge on the subject before talking to your friend.
Now, some may argue that it's not your place to bring up this issue with your friend. However, I believe that if you approach the conversation with love and without judgment, it may be the push she needs to seek help. You can also send her a text beforehand, letting her know that you want to talk about something important. This way, she won't feel blindsided or attacked.
Remember, knowledge is power, and your friend may need to hear your concerns. Even if it's a difficult conversation, knowing that you care for her and are there to support her can make all the difference. I wish you both the best of luck.
Now, let's switch gears and talk about a different reader conundrum.
Dear Em, my parents keep telling me that I should aim higher in my career and that my current job isn't good enough. I know they mean well, but I actually enjoy my job, even though it's not high-paying or high-status. How do I kindly tell them to back off?
I'm so sorry to hear that your parents are putting pressure on you in this way. First of all, let me remind you that if you are happy in your job, that's all that matters. Your parents are not bankrolling you, and your education was not an investment that they expect a return on. They should be proud of you for following a career path that brings you joy.
If you feel comfortable, the next time they bring it up, you can kindly remind them of this. Let them know that you are grateful for the opportunities they have given you, but you must also do what makes you happy. If you can't say it face to face, you could write them a letter expressing your feelings and asking for their support.
If they still can't see things from your perspective, please remember that it's their shortcoming, not yours. You are responsible for your own happiness, and you shouldn't let anyone make you feel otherwise.
Thank you for sharing your concerns with me, and I hope my advice has been helpful. Remember, if you have a problem or question, don't hesitate to reach out. Em Clarkson, Metro's agony aunt, is here for you.
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