May 22nd 2024.
When it comes to relationships and life in general, we all face our own unique set of challenges. That's where I come in - Em Clarkson, Metro's agony aunt, here to offer some guidance and advice on navigating through difficult situations. This week, I'll be tackling some reader conundrums on maintaining friendships after having a baby, decoding relationship mixed-signals, and finding love in your 40s. So, let's dive in and see what advice I have to offer.
The first issue we'll address is from a reader who has been with her partner for 14 years, since they were 17. After proposing and having their first child together, things seemed to be going great. However, out of the blue, her partner suddenly told her he didn't want to get married. It was a shock and he couldn't provide a reason for his change of heart. After months of working through it, they decided to stay together, but now he regrets calling off the wedding. The reader is understandably confused and hurt, especially since her partner shuts down whenever she tries to talk about it.
My advice to this woman is that it's normal to feel confused and hurt in this situation. It sounds like your partner also has some unresolved issues that he's trying to work through. It's great that he's going to counseling, but he also owes you an explanation for his actions. I suggest going to therapy together so that he can articulate his thoughts and feelings with the help of a professional. It's important for him to understand the pain he caused you and for you to have closure before considering marriage again.
Moving on to the next dilemma, a reader in her 40s is struggling with finding a partner and feeling pressure to settle down and have children. She's tried dating apps, but has encountered disrespectful behavior from men. She's also tried meeting people through various activities, but hasn't had any luck. She worries about being too old to have children and not being able to adopt or foster due to her living situation.
My heart goes out to this woman and I want to remind her that she is not defined by her relationship status or ability to have children. Instead of focusing on finding a partner, I encourage her to focus on her own happiness and dreams. That might mean exploring options for having children through non-traditional means or simply embracing her own independence and strength. Seeking therapy can also be helpful in processing these thoughts and emotions and finding ways to fill her own cup.
At the end of the day, we all have our own journeys and it's important to remember that we are whole and worthy individuals, regardless of our relationship status. So, dear readers, I hope my advice has given you some insight and guidance in navigating your own challenges. Remember, you are not alone and it's okay to ask for help. Wishing you all the best.
Dear reader,
Welcome to this week's column where I, Em Clarkson, am here to offer you advice on all your troubles. From maintaining friendships after having a baby to dealing with relationship mixed signals and finding love in your 40s, I've got you covered. So sit back, relax, and read on for some sage guidance.
First up, we have a letter from a woman who has been with her partner for 14 years since they were 17. They got engaged after 11 years and had their first child, but then things took an unexpected turn. Out of the blue, her partner called off the wedding and couldn't give her a reason why. After months of working through it, they decided to stay together, but now he's changed his mind and regrets calling off the wedding. The woman is understandably confused and hurt, especially since her partner shuts down every time she tries to talk about it.
Let me start by saying that it's completely understandable for you to feel this way. And it sounds like your partner is just as confused as you are. Going to counseling was a great step, and it's positive that he's had a change of heart about getting married. But without a proper explanation for what happened the first time, it's hard for you to trust that it won't happen again. I suggest going to therapy together to work through this and for your partner to finally give you the explanation you deserve. It's important for him to understand how much it hurt you and for you to feel secure in your relationship moving forward. Take your time and don't rush into anything until you feel comfortable and have all the answers you need.
Next, we have a letter from a woman in her 40s who has been friend-zoned by every man she meets. Seeing others' wedding and baby photos only intensifies her longing for experiences she has yet to have. She's tried dating apps, but has had negative experiences with men being disrespectful and pushy for sex. She's also tried joining various groups and activities, but with no luck. She's worried about her age and the possibility of missing out on becoming a parent due to her living situation.
I am so sorry for the difficulties you've faced in the dating world and for feeling disrespected by those you've met online. It's not easy to keep showing up for yourself and advocating for your own happiness, but it's important to focus on your own life and dreams. You are not incomplete without a partner, and it's worth exploring other options for having children, like adoption or fostering. And don't forget to take care of yourself, whether it's through therapy or finding ways to remind yourself of your worth and independence. You are a whole and brilliant person, and I believe that finding ways to fill your own cup will lead you to the love and happiness you deserve.
That's all for this week, my dear readers. Remember, you are not alone in your struggles and it's okay to seek help and advice. Until next time, take care of yourselves. xx Em.
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