I ran away from my parents to get married 10 years ago, but now I want to reconcile with them.

Dear Alison,

I hope this email finds you well. I have been married to my husband for almost 10 years now, and I have been thinking about renewing our vows. When we got married, we were both in our early 20s and we eloped to Vegas because our families were not supportive of our marriage at such a young age. We didn't let their opinions stop us from being together, and we only wanted each other. Now, after 10 years, we still feel the same way and our families have also come around. We have two children and we have become a strong family unit, with our parents being doting grandparents and helping us with childcare.

However, our elopement was not easy for our families to accept and I thought it would be a nice gesture to have a proper wedding on our 10th anniversary and invite all the people who missed out the first time. But my husband does not agree. He thinks it's unnecessary to spend money on something we have already done, and it might stir up old resentments from our families. How can I convince him to see things from my perspective? Is he right?

Weddings are supposed to be a joyous occasion, but they can also be very stressful. As someone who has been in the wedding industry for 10 years, I understand the complexities that come with planning a wedding. So, if you have any doubts or dilemmas, I am here to offer my advice and help.

Maria, first of all, congratulations on your upcoming 10th anniversary! It's heartwarming to hear how far you and your husband have come since your elopement. I want you to know that neither of you is right or wrong in this situation. You both have different opinions and priorities, and it's important to acknowledge that.

Renewing your vows can be a beautiful way to reaffirm your love and commitment to each other, but it's clear that you and your husband have different perspectives on how to approach this milestone. I suggest sitting down with him and having an honest conversation about your feelings. Try to understand his concerns and share what's important to you.

Your desire to include your families in this celebration is understandable, but your husband's concerns about finances and potential emotional complexities are also valid. It's crucial to find a solution that respects both of your feelings and honors your relationship.

If you want to keep costs down, there are a few options you can consider. You could renew your vows with just the two of you or with your children, which would be an intimate and meaningful way to celebrate your journey together. Alternatively, you could have a small gathering with close family and friends, but make sure to explain to them the significance of this renewal for you. If you do decide to address the past family drama, I suggest doing it in a sensitive and respectful manner.

Your husband is right to worry about old resentments, so if you do decide to have a smaller celebration, make sure to tread carefully. This intimate event could also help mend broken bridges and reaffirm your commitment without the pressure of a big wedding.

If you do want a bigger celebration, think outside the box and get creative with your ideas. You could have a relaxed barbecue or picnic at home, where everyone can come together to celebrate without the formality and expense of a traditional wedding. You could also have a dinner party at home, where everyone brings something homemade to contribute or make your own celebration cake. DIY decorations are also a great way to add a personal touch and save money. Alternatively, you could have a casual evening party at a local venue with simple options such as a buffet and a bar.

If the timing or finances don't feel right, it's okay to postpone the celebration until you both feel comfortable. Ultimately, what matters most is the love and commitment you share. By openly communicating and finding a compromise that respects both of your perspectives, you can create a celebration that reflects your values and strengthens your bond.

I wish you all the best as you navigate this decision together.

Best wishes,
Alison

P.S. Do you have a wedding story you'd like to share? Feel free to get in touch by emailing me at jess.email. I'd love to hear from you. Also, don't forget to share your thoughts in the comments below.

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