October 11th 2024.
This week, we are featuring a brave diarist who has taken on the challenge of reviving her sex life despite the challenges of being a working mom with two young children. Meet Tessa*, a 28-year-old woman who has been married to her husband since 2017. They have a four-year-old son and a three-year-old daughter who both have special needs.
During her first pregnancy, Tessa and her husband had an active and passionate sex life. However, complications during her second pregnancy made sex too painful to endure. She shares that they only had sex twice during that time – once to conceive and once to relieve the built-up tension. After giving birth, their sex life took a backseat as they fell into a routine of working 80 hours a week to save for a bigger home for their growing family.
Tessa reminisces about the days when they used to explore and experiment in the bedroom with things like ropes, collars, and handcuffs. But now, they barely have time for a quick fondle and shag every other week. Tessa misses the intimacy and connection she used to have with her husband and is determined to bring it back.
So, she starts her week by researching ways to spice up their marriage and is tempted to accept her husband's offer for a morning blowjob while their kids have breakfast. However, being a responsible mom, she declines and focuses on her work, which doesn't end until after the kids are in bed at 8pm. That night, they watch TV together, but Tessa has spicing up their marriage on her mind. She sneaks upstairs to get her vibrator, and her husband knows it's time for their usual position – the Spoon and Smash.
The next day, her husband is in a good mood after their steamy night, but Tessa's day is the same as always – taking care of the kids and working on her laptop. Unexpectedly, they have family visit, and Tessa struggles to keep the kids from wreaking havoc. Although she manages to have a few conversations in between, she's exhausted by the time her husband gets home. They clean the house, but the kids quickly ruin it again. They end the night by falling asleep on the couch after ordering greasy pizza.
On Thursday, they wake up on the couch, and although their bodies are stiff and sore, they are relieved to see that the kids are still asleep in their rooms. They quickly get the kids ready and head to the park to tire them out before starting their workday. Tessa's husband takes over the kids while she works from home, grateful not to have to constantly fetch snacks and toys.
Friday is a busy day for Tessa, as she has to take the kids to therapy appointments and run errands. By the time they get home, she's exhausted, but her husband suggests they have a date night in. Tessa is hesitant but ultimately agrees, and they have a lovely evening reconnecting and enjoying each other's company.
On Saturday, they have a rare day off together, and Tessa decides to take charge and plan a surprise romantic evening for her husband. They have a nice dinner, watch a movie, and end the night with passionate sex – a welcome change from their usual routine.
Sunday is the day Tessa has been waiting for. She has planned a day full of fun activities for the family, and they have a great time together. When the kids are finally asleep, Tessa and her husband take some time for themselves and have a steamy session in the shower.
As the week comes to an end, Tessa reflects on how she was able to revive her sex life despite her busy schedule and responsibilities as a mom. She realizes that it takes effort and planning, but it's worth it to feel connected to her husband again. And she's grateful for the opportunity to share her story and inspire others to prioritize their intimate relationships.
This week's diarist has set out on a journey to revive her sex life, despite the challenges of raising two kids and working 80 hours a week. Welcome to "How I Do It", where we give you an inside look at the sex lives of strangers. Today, we meet Tessa*, a 28-year-old woman who has been married since 2017. Together, they have two children: a four-year-old son and a three-year-old daughter, both with special needs.
Tessa shares that during her first pregnancy, she and her husband were like "rabbits" in the bedroom. However, complications in her second pregnancy resulted in painful sex, causing it to become infrequent. "The only times we had sex during my second pregnancy was one time to conceive and one time to end it," she tells Metro. After giving birth, their sex life took a backseat as they both worked tirelessly to provide for their family. Tessa recalls their earlier days of using props like rope, collars, and handcuffs, but now their intimacy has dwindled to maybe a "fondle and a shag" every other week. She misses their sexual adventures and is determined to bring back the passion in their marriage.
Tessa's week begins with her husband's day off. While he gets ready for the day, Tessa is busy with their energetic toddlers. She declines his invitation for a morning blowjob, not feeling quite human yet without her coffee. She admits that their stagnant sex life is mostly her fault, as she is constantly consumed by work and caring for their children. As she sits down to her laptop, which won't be turned off until after the kids are in bed, she decides to research ways to spice up their marriage. She realizes that she missed a perfect opportunity earlier and makes a mental note to be more spontaneous in the future.
Later that night, after the kids are finally asleep, Tessa and her husband have some time to themselves. They decide to watch TV, but with the thought of spicing up their marriage in mind, Tessa sneaks away to grab her vibrator. He knows what this means and immediately pauses the TV, preparing for their usual position that Tessa likes to call "the Spoon and Smash".
The next day, Tessa's husband is in a great mood after the previous night's activities. For her, it's just another day of taking care of the kids and working on her laptop. Unexpectedly, they have family visiting, which adds to the chaos of trying to contain their lively children. Tessa manages to have a few moments of conversation in between managing snacks, cleaning up toys, and making sure the kids don't jump on their elderly guests. Despite the exhaustion, Tessa and her husband manage to clean up the house and relax on the sofa, only to fall asleep after ordering a greasy pizza.
The following morning starts with creaking bodies and aches from sleeping on the sofa. They wake up to the sound of their kids laughing and are relieved to see that they're still in bed. The day starts at 6am, as usual, and they quickly get the kids up and ready for a trip to the park. When they return, they take turns showering while the other watches the kids. Tessa then prepares brunch while her husband takes care of the children. She can't help but appreciate the luxury of working upstairs, without having to constantly tend to her little ones.
As the week goes on, Tessa and her husband continue to navigate through their hectic schedules and responsibilities. They have some moments of intimacy, but it's clear that they both yearn for more. Will Tessa be able to revitalize their sex life? Stay tuned to find out.
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