December 21st 2024.
"Unfortunately, you have premature ovarian insufficiency," the doctor said to me with a sympathetic look. I can still remember the exact moment when my world turned upside down. I was sitting in the doctor's office, feeling the stifling heat and clinical smell that seemed to consume the room. My palms were sweaty and my mind was racing, desperately hoping that the words I was about to hear were not true.
But then, there it was. The confirmation that I was, in fact, going through menopause at a mere 15 years old. My mother couldn't hold back her tears and I was just left in shock, not fully understanding the gravity of what this meant for my future.
It all started two years earlier when I began experiencing hot flashes and my periods suddenly stopped. At first, I was relieved that I no longer had to endure the excruciating pain each month. I confided in my mom and we went to see a doctor who quickly diagnosed me with anorexia without even running any tests. I was convinced that this was the cause of my missing periods, but as time went on, I began to doubt this diagnosis.
The symptoms only got worse from there. The hot flashes were unbearable, starting from my head and making their way down my body. I felt like I was suffocating, unable to think or act normally. And to make matters worse, my face would turn bright red and I would sweat profusely. It was embarrassing and I couldn't help but feel self-conscious in public.
I even started wearing makeup to school, something I had never done before, just to cover up the redness. But as the hot flashes continued to plague me, I also began to experience other symptoms like insomnia, brain fog, and anxiety, all while trying to navigate through my GCSE exams.
My emotions were all over the place, I would get angry at the smallest things and I felt like I was losing control. Despite maintaining a healthy weight and not overexercising, my periods never returned. It was clear that something else was going on, but no one seemed to take me seriously.
Thankfully, I finally found a doctor who listened to me and suspected that I was going through menopause. It was the first time someone had mentioned that word to me and I was confused. It turns out that early menopause is when your periods stop before the age of 45 and can come with a range of symptoms like irregular periods, hot flashes, night sweats, and difficulty sleeping, just to name a few.
Facing this reality was not easy, but with the support of my partner, we are now exploring our options for fertility. It's a lot to take in, but I am grateful to have a doctor who finally listened to me and helped me understand what was happening to my body. If anything, this experience has taught me to never give up and to always trust my instincts when it comes to my health.
The doctor's office was uncomfortably warm and had that distinct clinical smell that only a GP surgery can have. I could feel my palms getting clammy as I waited anxiously for the doctor to come in. My mind was racing with a million thoughts, and the words "please don't say it" kept repeating in my head. I knew something was wrong, but I was not prepared for what the doctor was about to tell me.
Finally, the moment arrived and the doctor said those words I had been dreading. "You have premature ovarian insufficiency," she said. The weight of those words hit me like a ton of bricks. I was only 15 years old, and suddenly I was being told that I was menopausal. My mother couldn't hold back her tears and I could see the despair in her eyes. She knew what this meant for my future, and I was completely clueless.
It all started two years earlier when I was 13. I had been experiencing hot flashes and my periods had suddenly stopped. At first, I was relieved because my periods were excruciatingly painful every month. But as time went on, I began to feel concerned. I confided in my mother and we went to see a doctor, who without running any tests, diagnosed me with anorexia. I had no reason to doubt the doctor's word at the time, but as more symptoms started to surface, I began to question the initial diagnosis.
The hot flashes were the first to come. I would feel a sudden rush of heat that would start at my head and travel down to my toes. It was like being wrapped in cling film and I couldn't breathe or think properly. My face would turn bright red and I would sweat profusely. This led to me being called names at school and I became so self-conscious that I started wearing makeup to cover up the redness.
I never used to wear makeup, but I was afraid of people seeing my face turn into a "tomato" as I walked between classes. The hot flashes became a normal part of my day, but they were soon joined by other symptoms like insomnia, brain fog, and anxiety. It was a difficult time, especially with my GCSE exams approaching. I also started experiencing unfamiliar emotions, like anger towards things that never bothered me before.
Despite maintaining a healthy weight and not over-exercising, my periods never returned. I knew something was not right, but none of the doctors seemed to take me seriously. It wasn't until I was lucky enough to find a doctor who actually listened to me that I was finally given a proper diagnosis.
From the very first appointment, she suspected that I was going through early menopause. It was the first time anyone had mentioned that word to me and I was confused. I learned that early menopause is when a woman's periods stop before the age of 45. The main symptom is irregular or absent periods, but it can also come with other symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, and changes in mood.
Now, I am slowly coming to terms with my diagnosis and exploring my options for fertility with my partner. It has been a difficult journey, but I am grateful to have found a doctor who finally took me seriously and gave me the proper support and care I needed. If you are experiencing similar symptoms, don't be afraid to speak up and advocate for yourself. Early menopause may be rare, but it is not unheard of and you deserve to have your concerns heard and addressed.
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