February 9th 2025.
Hello Alison,
I hope this letter finds you well. As a newlywed, my wife and I are still basking in the joy of our wedding a few weeks ago. We're finally getting around to going through all the lovely cards, checking the registry, and writing thank you notes to our loved ones. We had mentioned to our guests that gifts were not necessary, but if they wanted to, they could contribute to our honeymoon fund. After being together for five years, we feel like we have everything we need except for some financial support to make our dream trip a reality.
We have been overwhelmed by the generosity of our friends and family. We are so close to reaching our goal for a month-long backpacking adventure next year. It's truly heartwarming, and we can't wait to express our gratitude to everyone. However, as we were opening one of the cards, a couple who are close to us stated that they wanted to get us something separately and that they would buy us anything we wanted from John Lewis.
I have a feeling that they might be using gift vouchers they received in the past to purchase this gift. I don't want to make assumptions, but I'm not sure what to do in this situation. We will be renting out our flat while we're away, so we don't actually need any physical gifts. Additionally, we don't want our friends to feel obligated to buy us something if they can't afford it. I don't want to make them uncomfortable by bringing up the issue, but I also don't know what else to do.
Do you have any advice for dealing with an unwanted wedding gift? I'm sure you've encountered similar situations during your ten years of running a venue and helping couples plan their weddings. We'd love to hear your thoughts and suggestions. If you're open to it, we can share the issue anonymously with you via email.
Dear Toby,
First of all, congratulations on your wedding! It's wonderful to hear that you and your wife are almost at your honeymoon fund goal. It seems like you have a generous circle of friends and family who want to celebrate your marriage in the most heartfelt way possible. It's also lovely that your close friends are eager to give you something special to commemorate your big day. While it may not be your initial preference to receive a tangible gift instead of a contribution to your fund, their intentions are pure.
I understand that you may not need traditional homeware from John Lewis, but they do have a great travel section that could be beneficial for your backpacking adventure. They offer high-quality luggage, backpacks, travel-sized toiletries, casual clothing, and footwear. These items could help you feel more prepared and organized for your trip.
As a wedding venue owner and planner, I have seen many couples in similar situations as yours. I'd like to suggest some practical items that you could use during your travels, such as a compact travel adapter, a durable water bottle, packing cubes, or a versatile travel scarf. These items may not be the most exciting, but they will surely come in handy during your backpacking journey.
If you still prefer not to receive any physical gifts, gift vouchers are a great option. You can suggest to your friends that you would like to use them at a later date. They don't have to be spent immediately, and when you're ready, you can indulge in some luxuries that you may have missed while traveling, like fluffy towels, bath bombs, and clean clothes.
Ultimately, the best gifts are the ones given with love, whether they are practical, luxurious, or simply thoughtful. If your loved ones insist on giving you something tangible, why not gently guide them towards items that will enhance your journey? It doesn't always have to be a toaster!
Regarding your suspicion that they may be regifting vouchers, it's possible, but it shouldn't be a concern. They are using something they received to make a kind gesture, and in the end, a present is a present. You can use these vouchers to your advantage and get something that you truly need.
Whatever you choose to do, remember to express your gratitude and appreciation. A kind and gracious response will make your friends feel valued while also helping you steer them towards something that aligns with your plans. I wish you both a fantastic honeymoon when the time comes.
Best regards,
Alison
P.S. Do you have any memorable wedding stories or experiences you'd like to share? I'd love to hear them. Feel free to get in touch with me by emailing jess.email. I'd also be interested in hearing your thoughts on this topic in the comments below. Thank you!
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