I chose her as my maid of honor, but she didn't invite me to her wedding.

Is my behavior justified?

November 24th 2024.

I chose her as my maid of honor, but she didn't invite me to her wedding.
Dear Amy,

Friendships are special bonds and when someone you care about chooses a different path from the one you envisioned together, it can feel disheartening. It's important not to take it personally, as your best friend would never want you to feel that way. You two have shared many dreams and experiences since high school, including her being your maid of honour at your wedding.

But it's important to remember that the dreams we had in high school may change as time goes by. Just like how my own wedding turned out differently from what I had planned when I was younger. Things change and that's okay.

One of the things that changed for me was my friendship with my childhood friend. We used to be very close, and she was a bridesmaid at my wedding. But as we grew older, our lives took different paths and our friendship wasn't as close as it used to be. So when it was time for my wedding, it didn't feel right to have her as a bridesmaid. And our wedding ended up being smaller than I had imagined as well, so we had to limit the number of guests. But we still invited her and her husband to celebrate with us at a party the day after our wedding.

I can understand why you felt disappointed when your best friend decided to elope in Cape Town while on holiday. Especially after giving her the role of maid of honour in your wedding. But her choice to elope was not a reflection of your friendship or the importance she places on it. It was simply a different way for her to celebrate her love, and that's okay.

I believe it's important for you to have a heartfelt conversation with your best friend. Tell her how much her friendship means to you and gently share your feelings. Let her know that while you were happy to celebrate with her at the party, you also felt sad about not being able to be a part of her wedding day like she was on yours.

Be open and honest with her, and maybe suggest spending a day together or helping her plan a celebration with friends, like a belated hen party. It's important to respect each other's choices and understand that life doesn't always go according to the plans we made in the past.

In the end, strong friendships are built on understanding and accepting that things change. I wish you and your best friend all the best as you both embark on this new journey of married life.

Best wishes,
Alison

P.S. Weddings can be stressful and if you ever need any advice, I'm here to help. Weddings are meant to be joyous occasions, but they can also be overwhelming. So don't hesitate to reach out to me if you need a helping hand.

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