April 27th 2024.
Priscilla and Ainie have bravely shared their harrowing experiences in a powerful book titled Safe. As I laid face down on the bed, a tear rolled down my cheek, only to be met with a sharp command from my attacker to stop crying. I could feel the room spinning as he hit me on the back, and I buried my head in the pillow, praying for the abuse to end.
It was the third night of my honeymoon in Florida, and instead of being filled with newly-wedded bliss, I was consumed with fear and dread towards my new husband. We had met in a local pub in Ireland where he worked as a barman and our flirty banter soon turned into dates and eventually, a proposal. I thought I had found the man of my dreams and was excited to start a new life with him.
But as the days passed on our honeymoon, things took a dark turn. On the third night, I had decided to head back to our room while he stayed at the hotel bar. Little did I know, this would trigger a violent outburst from him when he stormed into the room, yelling at me for leaving him alone. I tried to reason with him, but he only became more aggressive and started hitting and kicking me.
The next morning, I was still in shock from the incident. When I brought it up, he dismissed it as me overreacting and promised it would never happen again. Naively, I believed him. But as we settled into married life, there were occasional arguments about minor things like leaving the heating on or his gambling habits. However, things took a turn for the worse when I discovered I was pregnant.
Instead of being excited about our little bundle of joy, my husband's reaction was lukewarm at best. As my pregnancy progressed, our fights became more frequent and intense. He slowly took control of our finances, leaving me with only a small weekly allowance. I was struggling to make ends meet and was constantly worried about money.
One day, when I was around 35 weeks pregnant, I asked him for some extra money to buy things for the baby. His response was filled with anger and disgust, and he threw a vase at my stomach. In pain and fearing for my baby's safety, I left immediately and went to the hospital. I was alone when my daughter Ainie was born a few days later, as my husband had left, claiming he couldn't stand the smell of hospital food.
Despite the trauma and pain, the birth of my daughter was the happiest day of my life. But my husband's jealousy towards her soon became apparent, and he would constantly criticize me for not taking care of her properly. However, when I went back to work after six months, I would often come home to find him sitting on the sofa with Ainie, who had been in a dirty nappy all day.
By the time Ainie was nine months old, our mortgage was in arrears, and my husband spent most of his time drinking. On New Year's Eve, I finally gathered the courage to leave with Ainie in the middle of the night. We went to stay with my mother, feeling lost and ashamed.
A week later, my husband was begging for me to come back, even threatening suicide. I foolishly returned, and the abuse continued for the next few years, both physically and emotionally. He would call both me and Ainie names, and I even lost most of my hair due to the stress and had to wear a wig.
One particularly violent incident involved him beating me and breaking my jaw and ribs. When I went to a specialist for treatment, they compared my injuries to those of someone in a head-on car collision. The specialist urged me to go to the police, and I intended to, but the next morning, my father passed away. Consumed with grief, I didn't have the strength to take action, and the abuse continued.
But when I found out about my husband's multiple affairs and his involvement in the sex industry, I knew I had to leave for good. I got a court order and moved in with my mother, while Ainie and I worked towards rebuilding our lives. I started two successful businesses, and Ainie, with the help of my mother, grew into a confident and successful young woman.
Although our ordeal is over, we have made it our mission to raise awareness about domestic violence and help other women escape similar situations. We run an organization called 'Stop Domestic Violence in Ireland,' offering support, counseling, and resources to those in need. We have also written a book about our experiences, and all proceeds go towards helping more victims.
We understand the pain and fear that victims of abuse go through, and we want to let you know that you are not alone. If you need help, please reach out to the domestic violence helplines provided at the end of this article. Our hearts are with you, and we are here to support you in any way we can.
In the end, we want to use our experiences to bring about change and help others find the courage to break free from their abusers. We hope that our story can inspire others to speak up and seek help. Remember, you are not alone, and there is always hope for a better future. Let's break the cycle of domestic violence together.
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