October 25th 2024.
Almara admits that dirty talk is a huge turn-on for her. She recalls a moment when her lover, Lucas, surprised her by asking if there was anything she particularly enjoyed in bed. They had just finished having sex and were gearing up for round two. Almara knew exactly what fantasy she wanted to try, but hesitated before telling him the truth.
In that moment of silence, Almara felt a wave of panic wash over her. She worried that her kink might not be to Lucas's liking and that she had killed the mood by suggesting something too out of his comfort zone. Despite being a confident woman on the surface, Almara couldn't deny feeling awkward and insecure at that moment. This might come as a surprise to those who know her or regularly read her column.
Almara explains that we all have insecurities that can creep up on us, and for her, expressing her desires was one of them. She shares that a recent survey revealed that 61% of people hide their sexual fantasies from their partners. It's understandable, as we often worry about how our partners will react to our deepest desires, especially if they are on the kinkier side. However, suppressing these desires can lead to boredom in the bedroom, as seen in the 53% of participants who reported feeling unfulfilled in their sex lives.
That's why Almara ultimately chose to share her fantasy with Lucas. She reflects on her own sexual experiences and says that she's now an expert at getting herself off. She believes that the more we experiment, the more we get to know our own bodies and what brings us pleasure. For Almara, dirty talk is a big turn-on. She suspects it's because it feels a little bit naughty and also because she's a writer and words are her life. Plus, she enjoys a bit of roleplay, which can easily be incorporated with dirty talk.
However, Almara admits that she's not above feeling embarrassed about expressing her desires. She shares that when Lucas asked her about her favorite dirty talk phrases, it felt weird to say them out loud. The environment wasn't quite right, and she also felt more experienced than him. So, she hesitated and felt shy. When she finally mustered up the courage to share her desires, she was met with silence from Lucas. In reality, it was only a couple of seconds, but it felt like an eternity.
Thankfully, when Lucas finally spoke, he revealed that his hesitation was more about himself than Almara. He found the idea of dirty talk exciting but felt out of his depth, as he had never tried it before. Almara was happy that he shared his feelings with her and relieved that his silence wasn't because of her kink confession. They took baby steps in exploring this new side of themselves, starting with "lighter" kinky phrases before working their way up to the dirtier stuff.
Almara stresses the importance of not hiding our desires from our partners, as it won't serve us or them in the long run. We deserve to live out our fantasies without judgment or shame. She also reminds us that communication is key in a healthy and fulfilling sex life. Even if our fantasies don't match with our partners, there are always options like compromising, trying something else, or finding someone else to share our desires with.
In the end, it all starts with being honest and bold about our desires. Almara encourages us to share them with our partners and to also ask them about their own. Who knows, their response might just surprise us.
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