January 12th 2025.
I am a woman who is in a committed relationship with a man named James. However, what makes our relationship unique is that I am also allowed to pursue romantic and sexual relationships with women. This may seem unconventional, but it works for us.
The idea first came up when I went on a girls' trip and met Camille. Despite being thousands of miles away from home, there was an immediate spark between us. Her infectious laughter and warm gaze drew me in, and after spending the evening dancing and laughing together, we ended up kissing under the colorful lights of a nightclub.
It was clear to everyone, including my friend who blurted it out, that there was a strong attraction between Camille and me. And so, on the last day of our trip, we took some time alone to explore our feelings.
Some may find it surprising that I am in a relationship with a 63-year-old man, but age has never been a factor for me. What's important is the love and connection we share. However, I am also bisexual, and it's important for me to honor that aspect of my identity.
I first realized my attraction to women when I was 12 years old. By the time I was 13, I had learned the term "bisexual" and it resonated with me. Throughout my teenage years, I dated both men and women, and there were times when I had both a boyfriend and a girlfriend who were aware of each other. But it wasn't until my mid-twenties that I fully embraced my bisexuality and stopped trying to fit myself into neat categories.
I wanted to explore and be true to myself, so I joined Tinder, went on dates, and attended queer events. During this time, I also worked as a sex worker and saw male clients, which was personally fulfilling for me.
However, whenever I found myself in a monogamous relationship with a man or a woman, I felt conflicted about my attraction to other genders. It was like this unsaid, unacknowledged thing that created tension in the relationship. Eventually, I would reach a point where I couldn't suppress my desires anymore, and I would have to end the relationship.
So when I met James online, I knew I needed to have an open conversation with him about my sexuality early on. I was nervous, but I mustered up the courage to tell him that I didn't want to stop dating women just because we were in a relationship. To my relief, he accepted it without hesitation and even joked that he couldn't be my girlfriend.
From that moment on, we've had a dynamic that works for both of us. We are monogamous in many ways, but I am free to explore my attraction to women. There are no set rules or boundaries, but we communicate openly and respectfully with each other. Sometimes, I will go on dates with women, and other times there are long stretches where I am not seeing anyone.
Our relationship may not be typical, but it works for us. It's not about finding loopholes in commitment, but about creating a relationship that allows both partners to feel fulfilled. It's crucial to have open and honest communication before entering this type of agreement, and it's okay if it doesn't work for everyone.
For me, it's about being true to myself and finding someone who respects and embraces all aspects of who I am. And with James, I have found that. Our love and attraction for each other may be different, but they are equally valid and coexist without any need for secrecy or hiding.
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