June 19th 2024.
In a recent Instagram Q&A, Gwyneth Paltrow shared some of her advice with her followers. While she may receive some backlash for her opinions, there are times when she gets it right. This week, she was asked what qualities make someone "husband material" and her response was surprisingly uncontroversial.
Gwyneth, who has been married twice, shared her criteria for a potential husband. She asks herself if the person is her best friend, if they can calm her nervous system, if she admires their intelligence, if they have good chemistry, and if they like oysters. This list, unlike some of her previous posts, was met with agreement and even praise from her followers.
However, there were some who questioned certain items on the list. One person argued that a wife should not see her husband as her best friend, as she should have a different best friend. Gwyneth's list was also criticized for being politically correct nonsense. Professional psychotherapists and authors, Katie McKenna and Helen Villiers, weighed in on this debate, stating that while it is okay to see your partner as your best friend, it is important not to rely on them for everything.
They also caution against expecting your partner to be responsible for managing your triggers and wounds. While it is natural to ask for support in feeling safe, it is ultimately our own responsibility to manage our own emotions. Katie and Helen wrote a book about dating red flags, and they also warn against having a checklist of qualities for a potential spouse. They believe that it creates unattainable expectations and can hinder the growth of a relationship.
Instead, they suggest focusing on a partner's values and beliefs, whether they make you feel safe and cared for, and if the love feels like freedom rather than chains. They also emphasize the importance of emotional and physical connection in a relationship. While it is okay to have desirable traits in mind, setting an unrealistic and rigid standard can take away from the spontaneity and joy of being in love.
In the end, it is important to remember that every relationship is unique and what works for one couple may not work for another. It is essential to communicate and prioritize the growth and happiness of both partners in a healthy and loving relationship. Do you have a story to share about relationships? We would love to hear from you. Get in touch by emailing us at [email address]. Don't forget to sign up for our newsletter, The Hook-Up, for all the latest sex and dating stories and tips. We can't wait to have you join us!
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