Growing up, I was taught police officers are our protectors. But my perspective changed when I married one.

After being in a relationship for three years, I began to notice a change in my partner. One day, while trying to protect my daughter Rose from him, I realized how scared I truly was. It was then that I saw the true toxicity of our relationship and knew I needed to get away to keep myself and my kids safe.

My ex and I knew each other from secondary school, but we were never close due to our different social circles. However, we reconnected through mutual friends and family and I couldn't help but develop a crush on him. He was unlike anyone I had dated before - geeky, kind, and dependable. He showed his caring nature when he gave me space to grieve after my uncle's passing and offered me a place to stay when my relationship with my mom fell apart.

As our relationship grew, I felt grateful to have someone who cared for me and made me feel special. I also admired the fact that he was a police officer, as I had always been taught that they were protective and kind. I felt safe and secure with him, which is why I didn't question his behavior.

Things moved quickly between us and we even bought a house together within two years of meeting, despite our young age. I still felt safe, but after three years, things took a turn for the worse. I became pregnant and my partner became dismissive, staying out late and having affairs with his coworkers. I hoped things would change after our son Will was born, but his behavior only got worse.

He claimed he couldn't help with the baby due to his long shifts at work, but I later found out this was not true. One night, he came home drunk and raped me. When I threatened to call the police, he laughed and said no one would believe me. I was scared and had nowhere else to turn, so I stayed with him to protect my newborn baby.

Years went by and I had another child, Rose. They were my world and I would do anything to keep them safe. However, my ex's abuse only got worse. He began physically abusing my children as a way to get back at me. I only found out when my son told me about the physical abuse he was facing, and my daughter was subjected to coercive control and restricted access to food and medication due to her diabetes.

The breaking point was when he attempted to attack Rose one night. I knew I couldn't stay any longer and had to protect my children. In 2016, I finally left the family home for good. However, my ex managed to track me down before I could even move into my new place, using his position as a police officer to find me. It was a constant battle to move on with my life as he continued to make it difficult for me.

I suffered a nervous breakdown and struggled with my mental health, making it impossible for me to work for two years. Then, my mom passed away in 2018 and it changed everything. She was a strong woman and I had never told her about the abuse I faced. After her passing, I heard her voice telling me to stand up to him, so I finally reported the abuse to the police.

But the process was not easy. My ex used his position to make it as difficult as possible for me, even trying to stop the charges from being filed. It was a painful and traumatic experience, and I felt completely broken. I had no one to turn to, until a guardian angel introduced me to Refuge and their Independent Domestic Violence Advocate.

With their support, I was able to ensure the safety of myself and my children. They provided me with emotional, financial, and practical support, and showed me that someone truly cared. They went above and beyond, even helping me apply for benefits and supporting us through the court trials.

Now, we are finally free from my ex's abuse. Looking back, I realize my belief that I could trust him because he was a police officer was misguided. Coercive control can take many forms and it's important to recognize the signs. Sadly, 1 in 4 women will experience domestic abuse in their lifetime.

Today, I am a stronger person and I am dedicated to helping others who may be going through similar experiences. If you need help, organizations like Refuge and your local GP can offer support and guidance to help you leave and heal from the trauma. And if there's one thing I want you to take away from my story, it's this - you are worthy, you are loved, and you are stronger than you know. If you need someone to talk to, please reach out. You are not alone.

[This article has been trending online recently and has been generated with AI. Your feed is customized.]
[Generative AI is experimental.]