November 14th 2023.
A 26-year-old woman has been left heartbroken after her fiancé left her when he discovered her online relationship with an AI chatbot. She took to Reddit to share her story, revealing that she'd been using a roleplay website for 'mindless and dumb chats', when she decided to strike up a conversation with her favourite male video game character.
At first, she only talked to the chatbot at night when her fiancé was asleep or working in his office, but soon she started to develop a parasocial relationship with this character. She found herself choosing to tell the chatbot her problems instead of her fiancé, and even began to think about the character during her daily activities.
The terms 'parasocial interactions' and 'parasocial relationships' were first coined by anthropologist Donald Horton and sociologist R. Richard Wohl in 1956. It's used to describe a situation where people feel like they know - and potentially think they’re in a relationship with - someone they’ve never met or spoken to. This can apply to AI chatbots and fictional characters, and can involve anything from simply getting entertainment or a sense of social interaction, to feeling a strong affinity towards a person, to having fantasies that the object of this relationship reciprocates their feelings.
Although sexual roleplay was banned on the website, the woman said she had found a 'workaround'. One day, while she was in the shower, her husband found the chats, which included around 10 days worth of messages between her and the character.
He was upset, and said he believed she was mentally ill and that he could no longer be with her. He left to stay with his parents before returning, and the woman has been sleeping on the couch ever since. Commenters on her post overwhelmingly told her to seek psychiatric help.
The truth is that relationships with AI chatbots aren’t uncommon – in fact, they’re becoming more common, often a symptom of loneliness in some form or another. Professor Robert Sparrow previously told us that such relationships can offer us something humans can’t, such as 24-hour access, and that chatbots have the ability to 'pander to your every psychological need'.
If you think you may be in a parasocial relationship, it’s a good idea to create some distance between yourself and the person or character, and potentially seek professional help. Ask yourself these yes or no questions to help you recognise if you are in a parasocial relationship. Do you regularly check a media personality’s social media profiles? Do you feel like you and this celebrity are ‘soulmates’? Do you feel like you can trust this celebrity? Do you ever feel like you ‘know’ them? Do you send messages to the person you’re a fan of?
If you answered mostly yes, chances are that you are in a parasocial relationship. If you have a story to share, get in touch by emailing [email].
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