“There is nothing particularly wrong with the feeling of inferiority itself. You understand this point now, right? As Adler says, the feeling of inferiority can be a trigger for striving and growth.
For instance, if one had a feeling of inferiority with regard to one’s education, and resolved to oneself, I’m not well educated, so I’ll just have to try harder than anyone else, that would be a desirable direction. The inferiority complex, on the other hand, refers to a condition of having begun to use one’s feelings of inferiority as a kind of excuse. So, one thinks to oneself, I’m not well educated, so I can’t succeed, or I’m not good looking, so I can’t get married.
When someone is insisting on the logic of “A is the situation, so B cannot be done” in such a way in everyday life, that is not something that fits in the feeling of inferiority category. It is an inferiority complex.”| The Philosopher in The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitame Koga
We choose how we deal with a situation that isn’t ideal. For example, if we feel there’s something lacking in us, we could use it to strive for growth and learning. Or we could attempt to compensate for it – either via an inferiority complex or by flipping toward attempts to project superiority and bravado.
This is a recurring question that is explored in the book as a key tenet of Adlerian psychology is – if this is the situation, can we use the situation to strive for learning and growth? It is again an extension of the idea of being proactive and thus choosing learning over judgment once we accept the situation as it is.
This reminded me of “The Choice Map” by Marilee Adams – the act of choosing learning questions vs. judging questions opens up a relentlessly constructive approach to the challenges we face.
It then makes it easier to understand a key Alfred Adler idea – “The important thing is not what one is born with, but what use one makes of that equipment.”
Put differently, our life is what we make of it.
