December 23rd 2024.
The holiday season, especially Christmas, can be a challenging time for many. I remember one particular Christmas Eve dinner at the London LGBT Community Centre that left a lasting impact on me. It was 2023 and I had been working at the centre for two years. I had the pleasure of chatting with some amazing individuals who had joined us for the evening.
As I listened to an older gentleman share his story, tears welled up in my eyes. He told me about losing his partner 15 years ago and how this was the first time he felt comfortable enough to open a Christmas cracker. His story was just one of many others that I had heard over the years – stories of loneliness and isolation.
We often tend to associate isolation with older individuals, but at the centre, we have seen that people of all ages, sexualities, genders and identities can be affected, especially in a bustling city like London. The holiday season can be particularly tough. The queer community faces a higher risk of homelessness, and relationships with families can be strained, making it a lonely time for LGBTQ+ individuals.
That's why in 2021, the London LGBTQ+ Centre decided to host an annual Christmas Eve Dinner. The goal was to provide a safe space during the holidays, catering to the diverse needs of our community.
There are many reasons why people choose to attend our dinner. Personally, I understand the need for such a space. Growing up in London, I had a strong queer community around me. But as people got older and the cost of living became higher, many of them moved away, and I found myself feeling more alone. As a queer and trans person, my pool of potential connections was already limited. That's when I started attending events at the London LGBTQ+ Community Centre, eventually becoming a volunteer in 2022 and joining the team in 2023.
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The centre became my community, and I wanted to give back in any way I could. While the centre is open to everyone, we prioritize the safety of our team and visitors. That's why I have chosen to remain anonymous – as a queer person, I understand the importance of privacy and safety. But I also want to give credit to our entire team for the incredible work they do, not just myself.
As mentioned, there are multiple reasons why people choose to attend our dinner. For some, it may be the only festive meal they have during the season. For others, it's a way to fill up on some community love before heading off to spend time with family who may not fully accept them. According to the most recent census data, around 3% of the UK population aged 16 and over identify as LGBTQ+. However, research from the Albert Kennedy Trust shows that almost a quarter of young homeless people also identify as LGBTQ+. Additionally, nearly half of all LGBTQ+ individuals in the UK have experienced some form of homelessness in their lives, according to a 2022-23 survey.
This can happen when someone comes out to their family or loved ones and is rejected and left to fend for themselves. LGBTQ+ individuals also face a higher risk of social isolation, which can lead to loneliness and social anxiety. However, studies have also shown that being involved in community activities can reduce loneliness, anxiety, and self-stigma, while boosting self-esteem.
Our Christmas dinner is just one way in which we strive to bring our community together. Every year, the meal is prepared by Foodchain, a wonderful charity dedicated to feeding and supporting people with HIV. We also provide a variety of dishes, including a warm winter soup, bread, fruit, mince pies, and other desserts. And of course, we can't forget the Christmas crackers – last year, someone generously donated Christmas puddings that we raffled off at the dinner for attendees to take home.
All of this is made possible through community fundraising, and I am always amazed by the generosity of people. Being LGBTQ+ can be a lonely and isolating experience, and many of us have lived through hardship and isolation. So when we're in a position to give back and help others, we do it without hesitation.
The dinner is a team effort – our staff and volunteers, along with the attendees, all come together to serve the meal, set the tables, and pack up leftovers at the end of the night. We make sure that any uneaten food goes home with someone who may need it.
Not everyone in the LGBTQ+ community experiences the warmth of Christmas. Even the mention of holiday plans can bring up difficult and painful memories for some. So if you're asking someone about their plans, be mindful of the potential sensitivity of the topic. And if possible, extend an invitation to a Christmas party or meet up for coffee. Spread the Christmas cheer and let them know about the London LGBTQ+ Community Centre Christmas Eve dinner.
Do you have a story to share? We'd love to hear from you. Email us at jess.email. And don't forget to share your thoughts in the comments below.
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