Don't do it: The wedding trend that sets a negative tone for your marriage.

Don't be fooled by its cuteness, it's not just a silly trick.

July 13th 2024.

Don't do it: The wedding trend that sets a negative tone for your marriage.
When it comes to baked goods, it's always best to avoid any wastage. After all, why let something as delicious as a freshly-baked treat go to waste? Speaking of traditions, weddings have seen many changes over the years, but many of them still have their roots in ancient customs. For instance, the flashmob-style first dance may seem like a modern trend, but it's not too different from the choreographed routines of the 17th century. And the wildflower bouquets that are so popular today actually have similarities to the herb-filled arrangements that were carried by medieval brides.

But let's talk about the cake smash, a practice that may seem like it was made for the age of social media, but actually dates back to ancient Rome. In the past, brides would have barley cake crumbled over their heads to symbolize male dominance and future fertility. Nowadays, however, it's more of a playful and fun tradition, where both the bride and groom smear a slice of freshly-cut cake into each other's faces. In fact, according to Hitched.co.uk's National Wedding Survey, 79% of couples who got married in 2022 included a cake cutting ceremony as part of their big day.

But not everyone is a fan of this tradition. Elite event and wedding planner Lisa Lafferty, who recently organized the nuptials of Selling Sunset star Christine Quinn, advises her clients to avoid the cake smash at all costs. Not only can it get messy, but it's also not appropriate for the luxurious events that she and her team work on. Plus, there's a superstition among wedding professionals that a cake smash is a terrible omen for the couple's future. In fact, on a Reddit thread where industry workers shared their red flags for a wedding, many photographers and wedding planners commented that they have seen the couples who indulged in a cake smash end up getting divorced.

It's understandable why a cake smash may not be everyone's cup of tea. After all, weddings are a costly and time-consuming affair, and no one wants their expensive makeup ruined or their stunning dress covered in cake. But if you're determined to have a cake smash at your wedding, Lisa recommends keeping a "glam team on standby for touch-ups." However, there are other things to consider before going ahead with this tradition.

First and foremost, both partners need to be on board with the idea. As psychologist Dr. Becky Spelman points out, a cake smash that happens without mutual consent can potentially highlight issues of control, disrespect, or disregard for boundaries in a relationship. It's important to have a discussion with your partner and only go ahead with the cake smash if they are enthusiastic about it.

You also need to think about your guests and their reactions. While some may find a cake smash funny, others may see it as a sign of aggression or disrespect in your relationship. It's always a good idea to give your nearest and dearest a heads up about your plans so that they are not caught off guard.

Furthermore, make sure to inform the staff at your wedding venue about your plans. This way, they can prepare accordingly and protect their equipment from any cake-related accidents. And if a cake smash is not your style, there are plenty of other fun activities you can include in your wedding to make it memorable for you and your guests.

At the end of the day, your wedding should reflect your unique partnership and celebrate your love with the people you care about. If a mutual cake smash fits into that vision, then go for it. But if you have any doubts or think that it could be misinterpreted, it's best to skip it. As Lisa says, "To make your wedding a beautiful event that people will remember in a good way, focus on creating moments that are beautiful rather than kitschy." After all, you don't want your guests to remember your wedding for all the wrong reasons.

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