Do males ever totally move on from their first romantic relationship?

The internet is buzzing with talk of the "first love theory". This theory suggests that no other love is as romanticized as the one we experience for the first time. Whether we meet our first love in high school or later in life, it seems to leave a lasting impression on us. We often find ourselves looking back on those early days together throughout our lives. Some say that while other loves may come and go, the first one stays with us forever. But is that really the case?

It seems that the idea of men being particularly attached to their first love, even trying to replicate that relationship with future partners, is a popular one on the internet. On a Reddit thread discussing the first love theory, many men opened up about their experiences and feelings towards their first loves. Some expressed that their first love is still the only one they truly care about, while others lamented that they can't seem to move on from that person. Over on TikTok, one user shared that their grandfather married their grandmother because she reminded him of his first love.

But not everyone agrees with the first love theory. Some have argued that if they were still with their first love, they would be miserable or divorced. Others believe that jumping into marriage with their first love as teenagers would have resulted in an unhappy marriage. It seems that this theory is not just limited to men, as many people subconsciously look for partners who resemble their exes, regardless of gender.

So, what's the truth behind the first love theory? To what extent do our first loves shape our future relationships? We spoke to experts to get their take on it.

According to Annabelle Knight, Lovehoney's sex and relationships expert, the idea that men can never get over their first love is a bit of an exaggeration. However, she believes that there is some truth to it. Our first loves can leave a big impression on us because it's our first taste of deep emotional connection. And let's face it, we all tend to romanticize our past experiences. But this is not a universal rule. Some people are able to move on completely, while others hold onto those memories as a benchmark for future relationships.

Beth Ashley, dating and relationships expert at Pure, argues that the first love theory is closely tied to purity culture, which portrays "firsts" as something sacred and irreplaceable. This narrative can be problematic as it suggests that men are passive in their romantic lives and incapable of growth. However, in reality, humans are complex beings who have the capacity to form new emotional connections that are just as deep, if not deeper, than their first.

Our first loves are usually our first experiences of relationships, as they teach us how to love, communicate, and cope with vulnerability. They can be bittersweet because they carry the intensity of our firsts, such as the first butterflies, late-night talks, and heartbreaks. Our first sexual experiences can also shape us, as they are often wrapped up in a whirlwind of emotional and physical discovery.

But it's important not to get too caught up in our first loves. While the intensity of that first love may be hard to replicate in future relationships, it is possible to recreate and even surpass that intensity with trust, emotional depth, and confidence in a new partner. As we grow and evolve, our definition of love also changes, and we continue to learn and grow from our experiences.

Rachel MacLynn, CEO of MacLynn Matchmaker Service, believes that our first loves are part of our personal and relational growth. As we go through life, we evolve and redefine what love means to us. While it may not be accurate to say that men are incapable of moving on from their first love, it can certainly influence how they approach future relationships. How someone processes or moves on from their first love depends on their attachment style, with some idealizing their first love while others learn and grow from it without lingering attachments.

In the end, the first love theory may hold some truth for some people, but it's not a universal rule. Our first loves may leave a lasting impression, but they do not define our entire romantic future. As we continue to grow and evolve, so does our understanding and experience of love.

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