July 14th 2024.
Dating apps can be a frustrating experience for LGBTQ+ women. It's disheartening to constantly be reduced to just wanting a hook-up or be seen as broken and in need of fixing. This is a common experience for many of us, and it's no surprise that browsing dating apps can feel like a grim activity in 2024.
As a lesbian, I know firsthand how exhausting it can be to constantly come across the same issues while using apps like Hinge or Tinder. It's disheartening to see couples looking for a threesome or cisgender men changing their settings to appear to queer women. It seems like every time I log in, the majority of my potential matches are just looking for one thing. It's frustrating and it can really wear you down.
But I'm not alone in feeling this way. Jasmine from London has also used dating apps in the past, both for casual encounters and for a long-term relationship. As a fellow lesbian, she shares my frustration at having cis men appear on her feed. It's not something we're interested in, yet it happens all too often. It's frustrating to have our safe lesbian space invaded by men pretending to be women on these apps, and it's even more infuriating that their accounts are not being banned for this behavior.
So why do LGBTQ+ women continue to use these apps if it's such a dire experience? The sad reality is that we can't meet in bars or clubs like we used to. The LGBTQ+ club scene is in crisis, with many venues closing down in recent years. This leaves us with limited options for meeting potential partners, and apps seem like the only way to expand our search and connect with a diverse community.
But even on dating apps, we face issues with our sexuality being deemed illegitimate. It's disheartening to see 'lesbian' as one of the top categories on porn websites and to know that straight men are often searching for content that objectifies and fetishizes our identities. Not to mention the catfishing and fake accounts that plague these apps, making it even more difficult to find genuine connections.
As someone who often reports these rogue accounts, Jasmine urges dating apps to do more to protect LGBTQ+ women. She's tired of seeing couples looking for threesomes and believes there should be a separate option for them, so they don't appear in the feeds of women who are not interested in men.
And like Jasmine, I am also mentally exhausted from feeling unsafe on dating apps. It's one of the reasons why I have lost hope of finding someone compatible. While dating apps are not expected to be perfect, basic safeguarding should not be an issue. Hannah, a bisexual woman from Hertfordshire, has also had a frustrating experience with dating apps. She encountered a man pretending to be a woman because he was having trouble finding real women to talk to. This type of behavior is unacceptable and it's time for dating apps to take action to protect their users.
Ultimately, dating apps should be a safe and inclusive space for all members of the LGBTQ+ community. We shouldn't have to constantly defend our identities or sift through fake accounts and couples looking for threesomes. It's time for dating apps to prioritize the safety and well-being of LGBTQ+ users and take measures to ensure a more positive and authentic experience for all.
Being a lesbian in the world of online dating can be a daunting and exhausting experience. It's disheartening to constantly be reduced to a mere hook-up or viewed as someone who needs to be "fixed." Unfortunately, this is the harsh reality for many LGBTQ+ women, including myself, who try to navigate the dating scene through apps like Hinge and Tinder.
It's no surprise that browsing dating apps in 2024 can feel like a grim activity. As a lesbian, it's hard not to let it wear you down. It seems that every time I log in, I am bombarded with either couples looking for a threesome or cisgender men who have changed their settings to only appear to queer women. It can be frustrating and discouraging to swipe through countless profiles and only find a handful of potential matches who are genuinely interested in more than just a casual fling.
This struggle is not unique to me, as Jasmine from London has also experienced the same frustrations on dating apps. She has used Tinder, HER, and Bumble in the past, looking for both casual encounters and long-term relationships. As a fellow lesbian, she finds it infuriating to have cis men constantly appear on her feed, despite her clear disinterest. She believes that these accounts should be banned for trying to deceive and invade the safe space that should be reserved for LGBTQ+ women.
But why do we continue to use these apps if it's such a dire experience? The reality is, we don't have many other options. The LGBTQ+ club scene is in crisis, with many venues closing their doors in recent years. This has left us with limited options for meeting potential partners in person, making dating apps a necessary evil.
However, even on dating apps, we are not safe from the constant reminder that our sexuality is not deemed legitimate by all. The fact that "lesbian" is one of the top categories on porn websites every year is a clear indication of this. It's disheartening to know that our identities are often reduced to something solely for the gratification of others.
Jasmine's experience with fake accounts and couples looking for threesomes further perpetuates this narrative. These breaches of dating app guidelines not only make us feel unsafe, but they also contribute to the dehumanization of LGBTQ+ women. It's time for dating apps to do more to protect us, whether it's by implementing stricter guidelines or creating features to block certain profiles.
Unfortunately, these issues are not uncommon for those of us in the LGBTQ+ community. Hannah, a 30-year-old bisexual woman, has also faced her fair share of challenges on dating apps. Despite being attracted to both men and women, she has often used these apps to exclusively search for female partners. However, she has encountered men posing as women, using the excuse that they had trouble finding women or that girl-on-girl conversations "turn them on." This is not only disrespectful, but it also highlights the lack of basic safeguarding on these apps.
As someone who has reported rogue accounts and faced backlash from rejected men, Jasmine is mentally exhausted from feeling unsafe on dating apps. It's no wonder that she, like many others, has given up hope of finding someone compatible through these platforms. While we don't expect dating apps to be perfect, we do expect them to provide a safe and respectful environment for all users.
In the end, it's important to remember that behind every profile on a dating app is a real person with real feelings. It's time for dating apps to start prioritizing the safety and well-being of their LGBTQ+ users, rather than just focusing on numbers and matches.
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