September 27th 2024.
Bracing myself for the worst, I mustered up the courage to come out to my father. As soon as I spoke the words, he went quiet. It was 2019 and I was 28 years old. I had just revealed to him that I had decided to start taking testosterone and that I wanted to be referred to by a different name than the one my parents had chosen for me.
Nervously, I waited for his reaction. He asked me to give him some time to process the information and retreated to his desk. I was anxious, preparing for rejection. My father didn't know much about the transgender community at the time and had struggled to accept my identity as a lesbian when I was a teenager.
My father was always the one who encouraged me to dream big and imagine new worlds. Even as a child, he inspired me to write in my "detective notepad" and create stories while waiting in line or sitting at a restaurant. He also supported me when I would dress up in drag, wearing an old fake beard and his oversized leather jacket. Looking back, I realize that he was unknowingly allowing me to explore my masculinity in a safe and fun way.
But as I grew older, societal expectations and my education as an actress pushed me towards traditional feminine roles. It wasn't until I fell in love with a girl and found a sense of belonging in lesbian culture that I finally felt comfortable. My loved ones could sense my discomfort, but they didn't understand why.
It wasn't until I turned 28 that I could no longer ignore my true identity. I left my marriage and moved back home to South Africa, where I came out to my family and friends. It was a terrifying experience, as I feared losing the people I loved. But to my surprise, my father responded with love and acceptance. He even wrote down a list of adjectives that described me as a person, realizing that none of them were gendered.
This experience inspired me to write a semi-autobiographical movie called "Runs in the Family," which my father directed and I acted in. The film tells the story of a loving father who supports and celebrates his trans son unconditionally. To our surprise, the movie gained recognition and was nominated for a Glaad Award.
During the filmmaking process, my father and I discovered our passion for creating positive and uplifting stories about transgender life and the power of family. We hope to help other trans individuals and their families navigate the fears and uncertainties of coming out.
And now, years later, my father and I have a stronger and more supportive relationship than ever before. We continue to work together in the film industry, making waves in trans cinema and spreading love and acceptance. This is our pride and joy.
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