August 7th 2023.
Kate Hoyle from North London found a new way to raise her children, Eleanor and Ethan, through hypnotherapy. After her daughter was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression and her son experienced a stroke at 15 months old, she was seeking a new way to help her children.
"Ethan was only 15 months old when he had a stroke and it completely rocked our world," shares Kate. "It’s extremely rare for this to happen in children and the causes are different from adults but still, to a large extent, they are unclear. At first, he was unable to use his left side or even sit up unaided. Luckily, being so young, his brain was still developing and new neural pathways were formed."
When her daughter Eleanor was 6, Kate noticed a shift in her behaviour. "Suddenly, she went from a contented child to experiencing strong emotions and was often angry and tearful," she says. "It took several years of having physical illnesses investigated before she was diagnosed with severe anxiety and depression at just 12 years old."
Kate had previously had a high-flying corporate career in the City, but she realized that she needed to be around more. "I felt completely lost and alone when dealing with both Eleanor’s mental health issues and the emotional issues Ethan had as a result of his stroke," she says. "I took a local job so that I could be on hand for Eleanor. Being an hour’s journey away was just too scary."
With Ethan's health improving, Kate decided to change her parenting style. "I started out doing everything I thought I ‘should’ be doing as a parent for Eleanor; attempting to get her into school, out in fresh air, meeting up with friends, and going to family events. I was also accused of being over cautious with Ethan, but when you have a toddler with damaged arteries in their brain, falls and headaches take on a whole new dimension."
Kate spent years researching ways to help her daughter and stumbled upon Marisa Peer's Rapid Transformational Therapy. "Rapid Transformational Therapy is all about discovering the root cause of an issue so that change can occur at a fundamental level," she says. "I found an RTT therapist who I thought would suit Eleanor and it had an incredible impact."
The family eventually received an ADHD diagnosis for Eleanor. "As we left that appointment, I asked Eleanor how she felt, being well aware that not everyone appreciates a ‘label’. She replied that she was relieved and said “Now I know what’s been wrong with me.” My new role from there on became building her back up and realising that there was nothing ‘wrong’ with her. She had exceptional abilities but also many challenges which she would have to work out how best to manage."
Impressed with RTT, Kate retrained as a hypnotherapist and now helps many parents and teenagers in similar situations. Her daughter Eleanor even created a YouTube video explaining how ADHD impacts her life.
"My advice to parents is to trust your instincts," says Kate. "You know your child better than anyone and if you think there’s something wrong, don’t ignore it. Take your concerns to your child’s school and GP as a first step and keep trying anything you think might help. You will need to be your child’s advocate, so keep fighting. Every child deserves a level playing field and it is heartbreaking to see someone robbed of their childhood because of problems with their mental or emotional wellbeing."
Despite the challenges they faced, Kate feels that her family has come out stronger on the other side. "One of the most important traits children need today is resilience," she says. "I think that’s true of parents as well. Life will always be full of challenges and we need to be equipped to deal with them. When you have battled through real adversity, it enables you to realise that daily life is mostly not worth getting stressed about. We have been through so much as a family, I know we can face anything."
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