April 11th 2024.
Lauren remembers how at the age of 17, she found herself trapped in a vicious cycle of disordered eating, purging, and excessive exercise. It all started when she was just 13 years old and began going to the gym. Initially, Lauren was thrilled to learn how to use the weights and prepare healthy meals for herself and her older sisters. However, things took a turn when others started complimenting her on her body. She wasn't sure how to feel about it and it sparked an insecurity within her.
This insecurity led to a 12-year struggle with an eating disorder that nearly cost Lauren her life. For the next three years, she stuck to a strict diet of vegetables and protein, fearing the consequences of deviating from it. Then one day, she began purging. She couldn't explain why she did it for the first time, but it soon became a daily habit for years to come.
Despite her disordered eating, Lauren continued to obsessively exercise, often going to two different gyms in one day. She would even walk miles to work if she missed her morning workout. By the time she was 17, Lauren was already trapped in a dangerous cycle of restricting, purging, and excessive exercise. She would dress in baggy clothes to hide her weight loss and deceive her family and friends when they expressed concern.
Looking back, Lauren, now 26, admits that her years of struggling with an eating disorder have caused her to lose many memories. She often felt like she was in a daze, as if she were drunk all the time. It wasn't until her mother found evidence of purging and confronted her that Lauren finally sought help from her doctor. She was diagnosed with bulimia and OCD and referred to an eating disorder clinic.
However, the clinic did not provide much help and instead, Lauren only lost more weight. She dreaded going there and the weekly weigh-ins only motivated her eating disorder further. Despite being warned against it, Lauren continued to exercise excessively, even ending up in the hospital due to dehydration. She was stuck in a dangerous cycle of binging and purging, sometimes even spending large sums of money on junk food.
Lauren's health deteriorated to the point where her driving license was taken away by the DVLA. This was her rock bottom moment, where she realized that her eating disorder was in control of her life. She desperately wanted to recover, but the bulimia still had a hold on her.
As a teenager, Lauren Hastings was introduced to the world of fitness and healthy eating. She was only 13 when she first started going to the gym, and initially, she loved it. She enjoyed learning how to use the weights and preparing nutritious meals for herself and her two older sisters. However, when people started praising her for her appearance, she began to feel unsure and insecure.
The compliments may have triggered something within her, as it was the beginning of a 12-year battle with an eating disorder that nearly took her life. For three years, she stuck to a strict diet of vegetables and protein, afraid of what would happen if she deviated from it. Then, at the age of 16, she started purging.
"I don't know why I was sick the first time," Lauren recalls, "but from that day on, I would throw up multiple times a day for years." Despite this, she continued to exercise excessively, going to the gym before and after work and attending multiple cardio classes every evening. If she missed a morning session, she would lie to her boss about feeling ill and go straight to the gym.
By the time Lauren turned 17, she was trapped in a vicious cycle of restricted eating, purging, and endless exercise. She would hide her weight loss by wearing baggy clothes and go to extreme lengths to ensure she got enough steps in each day. Even though her body was shutting down, she couldn't seem to stop.
Her loved ones noticed her unhealthy behavior and tried to talk to her about it, but she would become defensive or isolate herself. Even when she felt dizzy or faint, she would insist that she was fine. Looking back, Lauren, now 26, admits that she has lost many memories due to her disordered eating. "It's like I was drunk the whole time," she says.
It wasn't until her mother discovered evidence of her purging and confronted her that Lauren sought help from her doctor. After receiving a diagnosis of bulimia and OCD, she was referred to an eating disorder clinic. However, the treatment didn't seem to help, and instead, Lauren lost even more weight.
"I hated that place so much," she remembers. "It was a constant reminder that I had an eating disorder." The weekly weigh-ins only fueled her disorder, as she felt motivated to lose more weight. Despite being warned about the dangers of exercising, she continued to push herself at the gym, even ending up in the hospital on a drip due to dehydration.
Her binging and purging continued, with some days being worse than others. She would make her stomach bleed from vomiting too much, and other days, she would spend up to £20 on junk food. There were moments when she could eat large amounts of food without feeling guilty, but then she would hide the evidence.
Lauren's health deteriorated to the point where her doctor took away her driving license, deeming her unfit to drive safely. "That was rock bottom," she says. "I wanted to recover, but the bulimia was still in control."
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