June 29th 2024.
Emrhys Cooper opens up about his journey to self-acceptance and finding happiness through The Agency.
As a young boy, I could never have imagined the life I have now. A life filled with love, a beautiful home, and a fulfilling career. But my path towards this happiness, as an openly gay man, was a long and challenging one. However, looking back, I believe that my struggles have only made me stronger.
From a young age, I knew that I was different from the other kids at school. I didn't know what exactly it meant, but I knew that I didn't fit in with the traditional idea of what a boy should be. I still remember the first time I was made to feel ashamed of my "otherness". A boy I was playing with started hitting me with a stick, calling me names and telling me I was like a girl. It was a painful experience and I didn't understand why he was being so cruel.
Looking back, I can chuckle at the cleverness of his nickname for me, "Femrhys", but at the time it was unbearable. I became introverted and created a persona to protect myself from the judgment and ridicule of others. I didn't fully understand my own identity yet, but others were already trying to label and target me for it.
At the young age of 13, my teacher openly discussed my sexuality with the class when I was absent. When I returned to school the next day, one of my friends asked me if I was gay because of what the teacher had said. It was then that I started to realize that I was gay, but I wasn't ready to accept it yet. The bullying that followed only made it easier for me to hide my true self and lie about my sexuality, to both others and myself.
Growing up in a society with little understanding or acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community, I felt the need to put up a protective facade. I became an expert at hiding my true self and pushing down my feelings, pretending to be someone I wasn't. However, as I grew older, I started to understand the harm that this was causing to my mental and emotional well-being.
Despite the challenges, I always knew that I wanted to pursue a career in the arts. However, I had to keep my love for dance and ballet a secret to avoid further bullying. But even in secret, it was my escape and a source of joy. At 16, I moved to London to pursue my dreams and it was there that I found my first relationship with a girlfriend. I was so desperate to fit in and be "normal" that I convinced myself I had feelings for her. It was a real relationship, but deep down I knew that I was still struggling with my sexuality.
Eventually, I moved to Los Angeles, a city known for its inclusive and accepting culture. It was there that I started to explore my sexuality, although not always in a healthy way. I still carried shame and guilt about being gay and would often turn to alcohol to numb my feelings. It wasn't until I was 27 that I started to come to terms with my sexuality and let go of the shame and guilt.
My journey towards self-acceptance truly began when I met Peter, who became my first boyfriend and a dear friend. He was comfortable and secure in his own sexuality, which gave me the courage to start accepting myself. It wasn't easy at first, and I still struggled with the shame and guilt, but with his love and support, I was able to let go of my inhibitions and embrace my true self.
Since then, my life has changed in ways I never thought possible. I am now happily married to a wonderful man, and together we have built a beautiful life. Looking back, I never thought that this level of happiness was attainable, but I am grateful for every step of my journey, as it has led me to where I am today. I hope that by sharing my story, I can inspire others in the LGBTQ+ community to embrace their true selves and find their own happiness.
Sharing his story with The Agency, Emrhys Cooper reflects on his journey to finding happiness as a gay man. Looking back, he never could have imagined the life he has now - happily married, with a beautiful home and a career he loves. But the path to get here was long and difficult, ultimately making him a stronger person.
From a young age, Emrhys knew he was different from the other kids at school. At the age of six, he couldn't put a name to it, but he knew he was "other" in terms of LGBTQ+. He remembers a moment when a boy came over to play and started hitting him with a stick, calling him names. It was the first time he realized that being "other" was seen as a bad thing. He couldn't understand why, but it made him feel like he needed to hide his true self.
Looking back, Emrhys can laugh about being called "Femrhys" for his feminine qualities, but at the time, it was unbearable. He became introverted and created a persona to protect himself from the cruelty of others. His own identity was still a mystery to him, but others were already trying to define it for him and target him because of it.
At the age of 13, his teacher spoke to the class about Emrhys, discussing his feminine qualities and suggesting that he might be gay. When he returned to school the next day, his friend asked him if it was true. At that point, Emrhys had an idea, but he hadn't fully accepted his sexuality yet. The bullying that followed only made it harder for him to come to terms with who he truly was. Like many in the LGBTQ+ community who grew up without positive queer influences, Emrhys put up a façade to protect himself.
It wasn't until much later that Emrhys realized how damaging it was to hide his true self and pretend to be someone he wasn't. Despite the fear of being bullied, he always knew he had a passion for dance and ballet. At 16, he moved to London to pursue his dream of working in the arts. Dancing and performing gave him a sense of escape from the struggles of his sexuality, but it also allowed him to express himself in a way he couldn't anywhere else.
It was in London that Emrhys had his first relationship, with a girlfriend who he genuinely fell in love with. Desperate to fit in and be "normal," he convinced himself that he was bisexual. But when their plans to move to LA together fell through, Emrhys found himself in a new world - a land of dreams. It was here that he began to explore his sexuality, but it wasn't always in a healthy way. He still felt shame and guilt, and turned to alcohol to numb his true feelings.
As his career took off, Emrhys found himself feeling miserable and driving down Sunset Boulevard one night, crying. He was tired of living a lie and the cracks were starting to show. It wasn't until he was 27 that he began to come to terms with his sexuality. He met an amazing man, Peter, who became his first boyfriend and a close friend. Despite his initial struggles with sober sex, Peter was patient and understanding, helping Emrhys to let go of his shame.
After they split, Emrhys fully embraced his sexuality and went on many dates and fun escapades, feeling like Samantha from Sex And The City. But it wasn't until later that he would find true love and happiness. Reflecting on his journey, Emrhys is grateful for how far he has come and the life he has now - something he never thought was possible.
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