December 27th 2024.
This week's diarist is Kylie, a 33-year-old mother-of-four who has been married for two years and with her husband for 11 years. She's here to share her experiences living with endometriosis and how it affects her sex life. Endometriosis is a condition where cells similar to those found in the lining of the womb grow in other parts of the body, causing severe pain, especially during periods.
Kylie was diagnosed with endometriosis after giving birth to her twins in 2018. She also has to juggle childcare and work on top of dealing with the symptoms of endometriosis. Her doctor offered a hysterectomy as a treatment, but she refused due to concerns about early menopause. Instead, she had a laparoscopy to remove the endometrial tissue embedded in her C-section scar. This has helped to reduce her pain, making sex easier, but she still experiences bad PMS and erratic periods with heavy bleeding.
Kylie's husband, Joe, tries his best to understand and support her, but it can be challenging for him to fully comprehend what she's going through. Her mood swings caused by endometriosis are one of the biggest problems in their relationship. Kylie appreciates his efforts to make things easier for her when she's suffering, but she sometimes feels like a different person because of her condition.
Despite all the challenges, Kylie and Joe aim to have sex at least once a week, and they both enjoy the intimacy it brings. Kylie also feels more confident in her body now that she's married and has been having sex with the same person. They have learned what each other likes and have fun exploring their desires. However, Kylie looks forward to the day when they no longer have to worry about waking up their children during their intimate moments.
The week starts with a quickie on Monday as Joe wakes Kylie up with a text while he's sleeping in one of their twin's beds. Kylie is in bed with their six-month-old who doesn't like to sleep. She responds to Joe's text, and they meet on the lounge sofa for a quick romp before starting the day. However, Kylie always has a lingering worry of bleeding after sex, a common occurrence for her due to her condition. Fortunately, there's no blood this time, and they both enjoy the moment.
On Tuesday, Kylie wakes up next to her husband, a rare occurrence with their busy household. She feels a little tender after Monday's quickie, but it's nothing out of the ordinary. She has a scan later in the week to check on her endometriosis, which makes her anxious. Pregnancy can temporarily stop the growth of endometrial tissue, but since giving birth, Kylie is unsure of the status of her condition. She has chosen not to use contraception as it negatively affects her mental health, but it also means she has to deal with the symptoms of endometriosis. She hopes the doctors can offer a solution to her dilemma.
As a self-employed virtual assistant, Kylie works from home, which is perfect for her busy schedule. Her husband, on the other hand, works outside the house, and she knows he'll be thinking about sex again today. However, she has a lot on her plate with work and a teething baby, so she's not sure if she'll have the time or energy for it. Her husband even comes back for lunch, hoping for some action, but Kylie is swamped with work and caffeine. She's also not one to show affection easily, earning her the nickname "ice queen" from her husband. It's something she's trying to work on because she knows it's important for their relationship.
Hello and welcome to "How I Do It"! In this series, we give you a glimpse into the sex life of a stranger for seven days. Today, we meet Kylie*, a 33-year-old mother of four who has been married for two years and with her husband for 11 years. Kylie not only juggles the responsibilities of childcare and work, but she also suffers from endometriosis, a condition she was diagnosed with after giving birth to her twins in 2018.
For those who may not know, endometriosis is a condition where cells similar to those in the lining of the womb grow in other parts of the body, causing severe pain, especially during periods. Kylie was offered a hysterectomy to treat her condition, but she declined because she was worried about the symptoms of early menopause. Instead, she opted for a laparoscopy to remove the endometrial tissue that was embedded in her C-section scar.
"Before the procedure, I was in constant pain, making sex a rarity for us," Kylie explains. "We would have to stop and start, or even try again on another day. But since my operation, the pain has lessened, making sex easier. However, I still struggle with bad PMS and unpredictable periods, which often come with heavy bleeding."
Kylie's husband, Joe*, tries his best to understand and support her, but he admits that it can be challenging for him to fully comprehend what she is going through. "It's one of our biggest problems because my mood swings can be horrendous," Kylie shares. "He tries to make things easier for me when I'm suffering, but I don't think he understands that I feel like a different person sometimes."
Despite the challenges, Kylie and her husband make it a goal to have sex at least once a week, and she cherishes the intimacy it brings to their relationship. "I feel more confident now than I did when I was younger, which I think is because I'm married and have been having sex with the same person," Kylie shares. "We have mastered the art of knowing what each other likes, and it's still fun, although I can't wait for the day when we don't have to worry about waking the kids."
So, without further ado, let's see how Kylie's week went...
Monday:
As I lay in bed with our almost six-month-old, who is not a fan of sleep, I receive a text from my husband. "Quickie?" he asks. He's currently sleeping in one of our twins' beds, and I'm trying to grab these moments of intimacy whenever I can, knowing how rare they are at the moment.
"How horny are you?" I respond, a question we used to ask each other before we lived together. We would often sext and rate our horniness out of 10. And all these years later, the question has stuck.
"10," he replies.
I carefully place the baby back in her cot, hoping she gives us a bit of time. We meet on the sofa in the living room, and even though I'm exhausted, I'm determined to make the most of this opportunity. However, I can't help but feel a bit anxious about the aftermath.
Will I bleed? That's the thought that crosses my mind as my husband's head is between my legs. But he knows how to please me, and it doesn't take long for me to reach climax. It's the perfect start to a busy week, and after all, it was just a quickie.
"No blood, babe," he reassures me as he pulls out.
Tuesday:
I wake up to the sound of our baby squirming, but it's comforting to see my husband next to me in bed. With four kids, it's rare for us to have a full night's sleep together, and it usually only happens a couple of times a week.
I can hear the usual morning chaos of our children in the other rooms. I'm feeling a bit tender today, which is not uncommon after sex, especially six months postpartum.
"Tea, anyone?" My husband asks. "Yes, please," I reply. I have a scan later this week that will give me a better idea of how my endometriosis is doing post-birth, and I'm nervous.
Pregnancy is a blessing for those with endometriosis because the tissue stops growing when you don't have your period. But since giving birth to my youngest, I'm not sure what's happening down there. I've decided to not use contraception as it's best for my mental health, but the pill also stops periods and therefore the growth of endo tissue. I'm hoping the doctors can offer me a solution.
Today is a regular working day for me as a self-employed virtual assistant. It's a schedule that works well for me as it allows me to be there for my children. I know my husband is probably already thinking about sex, and the more I give, the more he wants. So, I'm expecting him to "forget" something and come back home from work.
He knows deep down that it won't happen again today. I'm swamped with work, fueled by endless cups of coffee, and dealing with a teething baby who is not giving me a break. Nevertheless, my husband pops back home for lunch.
I'm not the affectionate one in our marriage, and my husband often refers to me as an "ice queen." It's definitely something I'm trying to work on because I know it brings us closer as a couple.
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